Dating an Alcoholic

Written by: Ankita Kathad – MA (Clinical Psychology)

Last updated date : September 16, 2022

Table of Contents Article title – DBT for anger
  1. Chapter 1
  2. Chapter 2
  3. Chapter 3
  4. Chapter 4
  5. Chapter 5
  6. Chapter 6
  7. Chapter 7
  8. Chapter 8

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Relationships are important and necessary in life. Most of us aim to develop bonds based on love and trust. However, it can be tough to form and maintain a relationship with someone dependent on alcohol. One of the most prevalent addictions people battle with is alcohol dependence, often known as alcoholism. It may have a devastating impact on a person’s personal life. Most of their relationships are affected. In this article, we discuss what it is like to date an alcoholic man.

Living with an alcoholic has both short-term and long-term impacts. Partners are more prone to experiencing domestic abuse and emotional trauma. Many relations suffer affected by alcohol end in separation. This also causes pain to the people involved. In this article, we discuss the effects of living with an alcoholic man. We also discuss how to heal from trauma if any. Further, we understand ways of helping the partner.

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Chapter 1:
What Are the Effects of Dating an Alcoholic?

There can be many challenges in living with someone who has an alcohol problem. This can range from emotional problems to physical injuries. Let us discuss these problems in detail in this section. We can describe them as financial, emotional, and social difficulties.

Financial Challenges

Women who dated an alcoholic man faced money issues. Firstly, their partners often exhaust all their savings on drinks. Secondly, a lot of money gets spent on treating alcohol issues. Moreover, often these partners are the only ones running the house. This is because the man spends all his money on alcohol. They keep borrowing money from here and there. The partner has to repay his debts.

Emotional Difficulties.

Dating an alcoholic is emotionally hard. This is because the man is never available for the partner. They are mostly in their drunken state. The partner can feel lonely, sad, and worried. They are always scared that their partner will run into trouble. They are mentally disturbed because they love their partners, but living with them is difficult. A person who drinks a lot can also be violent. This leads to physical torture. Here is a list of some common emotional problems partners face.

  • They may have sleepless nights because their partner comes home drunk.
  • There can be loneliness as the alcoholic partner remains absent.
  • Children’s needs are often not fulfilled.
  • Partners can feel suicidal.
  • Partners may be ignoring their health because they are always looking after the drunk partner.

In some cases, the partner can start consuming alcohol themselves. This is because they find it very hard to deal with a drunk partner. To ease their pain, they start drinking too.

Social Hardships

society does not consider drinking to be a good habit. Moreover, people who consume a lot of alcohol are often considered bad people. Society does not give them respect. This is why if someone dates an alcoholic person, even they get blamed. Society looks down upon them. They can face bad comments in the community. Moreover, even if they are trying to help their partners get rid of alcohol, they feel shameful. In many cases, the sober partner provides the drunk partner with money. This is to avoid any social conflict. Sometimes, there is so much shame that the partner encourages the drunk partner to drink at home. This shame also stops them from taking any medical help.

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Chapter 2:
What to Do if You Are Dating an Alcoholic Man?

Sometimes, alcoholism is not a choice. When you love someone, you want to put in a lot of effort to make them okay. Alcoholism for that matter can be treated. Medical help plus therapy can allow people to come out of their addictions. Moreover, people who have problems with alcohol are in a very bad state. They too face a lot of social stigmas. They can also be sad or have some emotional issues. Moreover, sometimes partners just want to leave the alcoholic man for many reasons. Here are some tips on what you can do if you date an alcoholic man.

Get Help

This can seem like an overly said statement. However, the best way to help your partner is by getting medical help. Try to contact the nearest hospital which provides rehab services. It is difficult to get rid of alcohol without medical aid. Therefore try to get in touch with a doctor. A team of doctors and counselors can help your partner and you too. You can also join a caregiver group. Moreover, your partner can join an alcohol anonymous group. This way both of you can handle your emotional struggles.

Communicate

If you are dating an alcoholic man, it is important to talk to them. It’s crucial to pick the perfect moment to bring up drinking. Never attempt to reason or have a conversation with someone drunk. Make sure there is plenty of time to discuss.  Talk about issues in a calm, patient manner without being angry. After that, pay attention to what the other person is saying. Be truthful, but place more emphasis on your concern for the person’s health.

Provide Support and Care

Try to assist your partner in their journey of quitting alcohol. Dating an alcoholic is tough. However, given love and care, they can leave this habit. You can provide some alternate options to your partner. For instance, whenever it is their time to drink alcohol, try engaging them in an activity. Give some kind of distraction. This will help you make your bond strong and help them forget alcohol. Additionally, there will be times when your partner may relapse. Try not to blame them. Relapse is a part of the recovery process. If you feel drained, involve friends and family to provide love and care. Seek help for yourself too.

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Chapter 3:
Way Forward

When you have taken all the efforts to help your partner and if he continues to drink, there are very few options you have. In such a case you may want to end the relationship. Dating an alcoholic man can be tiring. You may have to take care of yourself too. You don’t have to put your mental health at risk. As discussed earlier, living with a partner who has an alcohol problem can have various long-term effects. It is important to look after your health. Notice your body’s signals. Introspect and understand how you have been feeling. If you have been feeling unwell or depressed, seek help. At Epsychonline there are various self-help courses for improving mental health-related problems which can be accessed by clicking Courses on the navigation bar. Courses such as DBT for anger or Low self-esteem can be very helpful if you have been facing spillover effects of living with an alcoholic partner. Many articles can help caregivers of people having substance use disorders. Do check them out. 

Reviews 4.1

Learn evidence-based DBT for Anger skills

69 Lessons

6 hours

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

€9.00 €12.00

25% discount