How to Move On from a Friendship in College? Letting Go of a Friendship

Written by: Arooj Paulus – MA (Psychology)
Last updated date : February 26, 2023

Breaking friendships and letting go of a friendship can be hard. It is as painful as a heartbreak but the only difference is that it does not change your relationship’s status. Friendships offer you love, and support and promote your mental wellness. Realize that friendships can be difficult or toxic too. A toxic friendship can have adverse effects. According to research friendships do not last a lifetime. We meet many new people in college and know different people from different backgrounds. Some may find their best friends in college. However, for some, it can be a lesson for trusting and making friends. So it is common in college life if you are not friends anymore with whom you thought of as the best friends. Let’s discuss further how to move on from a friendship in college.


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Chapter 1:

How to End a Friendship in College

Compassion is the key when it comes to relationships. To end and move on from friendships in college, keep in mind that you can end things on a happy note. After all, friendship is an amazing relationship. If it becomes bitter it is better to cut off a connection.

Allow yourself to build boundaries within a relationship, release your sadness and wrath over your lost friends and focus on making new friends and relations as you grow in life. It can be tough to realize that it’s time to let go and move on from a friendship in college.

Chapter 2:

Red Flags for Letting Go of a Friendship in College

Lack of Closure

Closeness is very important in a relationship as they are usually built based on similarity of interests. One can have different opinions and likes or dislikes. For instance, if someone has different political views or interests there can be a gap between the two people. The distance can also develop if you two do not talk much and have other preferences in life. Consider it a red flag if you invite them to your very important event but they could not come due to other commitments.

Lack of Loyalty

Loyalty is one of the building units of friendship, especially in college. Your friend may be spreading rumors about the information you discussed in trust. Or if they are engaging in illegal things, they might want you to keep secrets that place you in a difficult situation with people you care for. You may no longer feel comfortable being their friend or sharing your secrets with them.

Lack of Equality

Friendship may involve you investing time, effort, and compassion without receiving much in return. Or perhaps you desire less intimacy but your friend wants more. You can be upset by an unbalanced friendship.

Toxic Friendship

Some relationships do not end but become toxic with time. These toxic relations can have adverse effects on your mental health. If you think that a friendship in college is exerting unnecessary pressure on you, they involve you in unhealthy habits or mock you for fun. Then it is time to move on from a friendship in college.

Chapter 3:

Ways to Move On from a Friendship Gracefully

Do Not Take Thing Personally

It can be a good idea to keep in mind that many friendships can fade away, regardless of who starts things off. It is not only your responsibility to build a relationship. If the other person is not putting enough effort into the friendship then do not take the blame on yourself.

Give Yourself Some Time and Space

It’s normal to feel sad when a friendship comes to an end. You might wish to try some of the following techniques to let your grief and move on from a friendship in college. Such as you may write down a letter, watch a movie or give yourself a salon treatment. Coping can be in any form and relaxing activity you like. Just allow yourself some time to move on from the painful emotions of losing a friend. Remember, it is natural to give yourself time to move on and heal. Instead of expressing to a new friend, it could be advisable to do it alone or with a competent counselor.

It Is Better to End

Things on a Happy Note It is not a good idea to end things on a bitter note or simply ghost the other person. Unresolved matters may lead to future problems or overthinking. If you think that your friendship lacks closure, lacks equality, lacks loyalty, or is a toxic friendship. Then you can simply talk to them that you are forgiving them and moving on, not because you care but because of your mental peace.

Use wise words such as, “I embrace our friendship for what it is, rather than allowing anger or guilt to take root”, and “I am choosing to move on for my peace of mind”.

Furthermore, for your peace of mind, you can write a letter of goodbye that covers the good, the bad, and everything in between you.

Note: If you think that the conversation will not be a decent one, then you can simply leave a note and block them. To avoid unnecessary drama and pain.

Focus On Your Growth

Involve yourself in some healthy behaviors and focus on your growth. For instance reconnect to your values, join social clubs, and meet new people who are like-minded to you. Focus on your values and reconnect to yourself. Learn a lesson from toxic people and move on in life.

Chapter 4:

Call to Action

You can read and learn more about youth and friendships in college at Epsychonline by reading “How to Make Friends in College When You Are Shy: A Guide”. Moving on from a friendship in college is a difficult time. It can cause you anger or anxiety. So we suggest you join an online course “DBT for Anger” on Epsychonline to better manage your painful emotions. Further, if your toxic friendship in college, bullied you or someone else. You or someone you know might get help from the “Coping with Bullying” course at Epsychonline. We hope to be a help to you. Join right away!

"Structured and engaging course" Joan

69 sections

6-Weeks Self-Paced

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

$9.00 $12.00

25% discount