When we are younger in school, kids learn how to make friendships. Even if they do not become lifelong friends, you learn how to interact and get along with other kids. This interaction can sometimes give you good or bad memories. In fact, most teens make life long friendships. You make friends based on shared interests and passions. You and your friend grow with each other. The journey of adolescence seems less lonely when you have a friend along. But, sometimes when you grow up, you both may also grow apart. When we grow into becoming adults, a lot of things change. Now, you are probably an adult who is confused and lonely, that you have no friends. What do when you have no friends? Do you wonder about the things you can do when you have no friends?
Chapter 1:Do You Feel like You Have No Friends?
Did you know studies have shown that people who have friendships have better mental well being? It is true, having meaningful friendships can make you happier and more satisfied. In fact, when you do not have friends, you may tend to feel lonely. When one becomes an adult, it is better that they have friendships that they can depend on and rely on when life gets hard. So if you are one of those individuals who feel like ” they do not have friends”. Here are some tips and tricks that help you build more friendships in your life.
Be Open to Making New Freinds
Have you ever thought why you have no friends? Maybe, it is good that you consider learning about it. Do you tend to be aloof from people? Do you push away when people try to get friendly with you? Are you constantly denying an invitation to a party, because you are anxious?. Therefore, it is a good thing if you start understanding why you may not be having friends. It is true that we humans tend to let friendship opportunities pass by every now and then- maybe we can be too preoccupied, too shy, too awkward or even least bothered at that moment. Try to be mindful of such instances. When you learn to act upon such instances, you will see many doors to friendships opening up for you.
Try Reconnecting with Your Old Friends
You can always try reconnecting to your old buddies. Maybe, you have not spoken to them in a while. You taking that initiate to drop in a text or call them up is a great gesture to maintain your friendship with them. Don’t wait for them to reach out to you. You can always take the first step to call them as well. Most of the time, we wait for others to take that first step, which will not help either of us. Hence, try putting yourself out there more often. You never know, life can surprise you in mysterious ways.
Connect on Social Media to Make Friendships
Do you feel like you don’t have many friends? Don’t worry, there are plenty of apps in which you can meet, connect and make new friends. But, make sure you are being cautious. The world of the internet can be a scary place sometimes. So, be careful while talking to people online. You can go on to apps such as Huggle or Vina to make new friends. Hence, you can find people of similar interests and can even decide to meet them up.
Work on Your Shyness
Do you often find that your shyness is making it hard for you to make friends? If you are someone who is shy and introverted, there are high chances that you find it hard to strike up conversations with strangers. It can be even hard to keep the conversation going. If you feel like it makes you worried or upset, You can always work on your shyness. There are ways in which you can overcome shyness and anxiety. Have you thought of going up to the shy person in your class to strike up a conversation? Just because a person is quiet and to themselves, does not mean they do not want friends. Try conversing with them, you never know, it can be a friendship that can last a lifetime.
Don’t Try too Hard to Make Friends
Now, you may want to make friends . Do not get overly attached to someone that you just met. Try asking yourself these questions. Are you trying too hard to make friends? Do you find yourself being extremely needy? Are you becoming smothering to them? If you are seeing yourself doing most of these things, you could be pushing them away from you. Hence, by doing these things instead of making friendships, you are pushing it all way even further.
Chapter 2:5 Things That You Can Do When You Have No Friends!
There are different ways in which you can spend time with yourself and not feel lonely. Let us look at things you can do when you have no friends.
Take a Solo Vacation
Taking a solo vacation can be a very fun thing to do by yourself. It is true, travelling with your friends is also very fun. Travelling to a new place is a good break from your busy life. When you go on a solo vacation, you get to take a step back and look at life in a peaceful way. You get a chance to appreciate and be grateful for your life and feeling to be even alive to see this beautiful world. Hence, taking a solo vacation is something that everyone should at least try once in their lifetime.
Have a Solo Lunch Date
Go to your favourite restaurant or cafe and treat yourself to a great meal. This will even teach you how to even be okay and comfortable being alone in public places. Most people fear that people around them are judging them when they eat alone. That is not really true, people have a thousand things going on in their minds. They may not even think about it, everybody is busy with their own lives. Hence, try reminding yourself that nobody is judging you, nobody is watching you or nobody is staring at you. This is a good practice that you can follow to get rid of that fear of judgement. When you have overcome this, you will find yourself enjoying having a meal by yourself and will look forward to more solo lunch dates in the future.
Have you ever thought about trying gardening? It can be a very relaxing activity. When you take care of your plants in your apartment or your garden, you feel satisfied. This makes you feel responsible for your plants. Being involved in nature can calm your mind. You must have heard about nature therapy right? Hence, being in nature has many benefits to your mental and physical well being. Perhaps, not every fun needs you to have friends around.
Take Up Online Classes that interests you
Another great thing that you can do when you are alone and have no friends around is to take up an online class. When you take it up alone, you have no distractions and you get to focus. Having friends is amazing but it also comes with a lot of activities such as birthday parties, vacations, doing activities together. Doing all this can make you feel drained out by the end of the week. Hence, doing things alone has a charm of its own. There are a lot of online classes that you can take up on websites such as EdX or Coursera. Hence, try something different and learn a new skill or two.
Try Reading a Book
Reading is a very fun activity that you can do when friends are not around. Nothing is better than a cup of coffee and getting lost in a great book. Reading lets you travel to different places and experiences. You get to understand why certain characters act in the way they do. You learn a lot about life and maybe even take a few lessons for your own life. If you are someone who enjoys reading, then reading is your go-to activity during the weekends or just any day.
Explore Your City
Have you ever thought to explore the city that you live in? There are so many fun things that you can do in your own city. A lot of things that you may not be aware of. Try to get out of your house and pay attention to the little details. In fact, you may not have paid attention to those little corners in your city, there is so much to learn and explore. Take a stroll down a street or neighbourhood that you may not have explored and get surprised by your experiences.
At Espychonline we have a few series of self-help courses including ”DBT for Social Anxiety” that can help you with your struggle with social anxiety. Please visit our Courses page to learn more about it. You might also find it intriguing to read up on ”How to Make Friends in College When You are Shy” or “I Miss My Best Friend & I Feel Alone” to know more about how to deal with friendships.