How to Make Friends in College When You Are Shy: A Guide
Coping with bullying (teens)
Check out our awesome trivia challenge
Please verify you are not a robot!
Coping with Bullying (teens) Course
Duration: 6 weeks, self-placed
Going to college can be daunting enough. It is a whole new chapter in our lives that we set out on. Along with getting the education we go to college for, another important part about college is making connections and developing aspects such as our social skills. Often for many people, their college lives are better because of the friends they attend college with. But making connections such as friendships does not happen easily for everyone. For instance, how does a shy person attempt to make you friends in college? Knowing what exactly to do plus doing it can be hard. If you’ve clicked on this article to find the answer to that question, keep on reading. Below you’ll find some tips to help you navigate this situation.
What Shy People Can Do to Make Friends in College
- Join societies and clubs at college
Colleges generally have a whole list for you to choose from. Joining them are one of the quickest ways to meet other people who may have the same interests as you and to become friends with them. Additionally, being a part of different societies and clubs also allows you to be acquainted with different sets of people so you can have different friend groups.
- Attend events
This is another way that allows you to interact with people and form connections. Don’t be hesitant about it because it provides a social setting to connect with people. It can be a good opportunity to do so. Sometimes it can be a challenge for those who are shy to adjust to these settings and find friends at college. Nevertheless, this can be overcome. They may find it difficult at first but for example the more accustomed they become the easier it can get. It’s another reason why attending events can be helpful: because it helps to lessen your shyness.
- Be friendly and approachable
Although these things may sound like basic tips, they might be overlooked for this very reason. Being friendly and seeming approachable are important steps if you want to appear likeable and also make friends in college. You may have higher chances of connecting with people this way.
- Being a good listener
Many people hear but they don’t pay attention and listen. Listening is one of the qualities of friendship. However, it’s not always present in a lot of them. Learning to listen to what people have to say is a valuable quality to have. Furthermore, it could make people like you more and also trust you. They may seek out your acquaintance because they want to be friends with you.
- Connect online
There is no rule that college friends should only be made in person because for example, this may sometimes be hard for shy people. Colleges use online communication platforms to keep their students connected both to the institution and each other. This can help those who find in-person interaction hard not feel limited because of their inability. For example, you could always approach a friendly batchmate for help with any academic work you find difficult. Or you could also just be responsive on group chats where other students speak.
- Ask open-ended questions
When just becoming acquainted with new people, carrying on conversations might not always be the easiest thing. Things like silences can be experienced when people finish saying what they have. These pauses in the conversation can make some feel awkward and anxious. If you’re a shy person who wants to make friends at your college you can try using open-ended questions in your conversations. It ensures a conversation can carry on and have a better flow. These questions aren’t answered with one-word answers such as ‘yes’ or ‘no’. It requires longer responses and gets people to elaborate more on their answers. This can result in people having better conversations. For example, a close-ended question would be “Did you like the movie?” and an open-ended question would be “How did you find the movie?”. There’s a difference between the answers that would be provided and this can greatly help.
- Invite people
Once you know more people from college and want to become friends with them, you could organise a meetup. For instance, you could plan study sessions and invite them. Hanging out together helps friendships develop. Besides this, you could also find out if others are planning their own study sessions and join if they’re looking for more people to attend.