Online Anger Management Classes on Losing Your Temper​

Written by: Bianca Villanueva – BS (Psychology)

Last updated date : December 27, 2022

Getting angry or upset is perfectly normal. However, people consider anger to be a negative emotion. While it is natural to feel, it’s easy to see why anger as a problem. Anger to lead to hurt, disruption, guilt and shame. We’ll breakdown anger and losing your temper. Afterwards, we’ll also talk about some online anger management classes you can take to help you!

So, if you’re reading this, it’s likely someone has told you you have a temper. Otherwise, you might be reading this because you know someone who has a temper.

As humans, we get angry pretty often. The world isn’t perfect, and people are even more so. So it makes sense that we’d get angry once in a while. After all, we always want things to be fair. We always want things to go our way. Who doesn’t? Despite this, things don’t go our way a lot, no matter who you are. As such, it is inevitable to feel angry at some point in your life.

This article will be about losing your temper and anger management. In many ways, anger can be an healthy emotion. In other ways, it’s destructive and unhealthy. So, we will focus on how it can be both and how to deal with extreme waves of anger.

Take note: anger management isn’t about never feeling angry. It’s about feeling it yet being able to cope. If you’re the type of person who loses their temper or cares for someone who gets angry easily, this article might help you.

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Chapter 1:

What Is Anger? What Is a Temper?

Most emotions are proof of how humanity has survived for so many years. Anger is one of them. We naturally feel anger because it’s a natural response to threats. Our bodies releases adrenaline, and our senses become stronger. In the face of threats, we feel “on edge” because we need to be. It also helped us in days we competed for resources. We are no longer the hunters and gatherers that we were years ago. However, anger still persists in our daily lives.

Meanwhile, losing your temper is largely associated with anger, especially those who have trouble controlling theirs. A temper is your ability to suppress the feeling of anger. If you have a short temper, you get angry easily. If you have an even temper, you are calm a lot of the time. Does that make you less angry? Not exactly. It simply means that you’re better at suppressing or hiding your anger so that it doesn’t affect others.

Young man using distance and reflection, sitting by a pond , strategies from anger management classes

Chapter 2:

When Is Losing Your Temper a Problem?

If anger is such a natural thing, why is losing our such a bad thing? As kids, we naturally feel angry. When we don’t get what we want, we throw tantrums. We think that when things don’t go our way, it’s unfair. In the same way that others have different tempers, we have different things that make us angry. So different things will also change how angry we get. For people with anger management issues, even the smallest inconveniences can cause a temper tantrum.

Poor anger management can be unhealthy for many reasons. Losing your temper easily makes people prone to depression, alcoholism, and anxiety. This is because stressors causing the anger can lead to more stress. Also, anger isn’t just bad for your mental health, it’s also bad for your physical health. Studies show that people with bad anger management can lead to strokes, cardiovascular diseases, bulimia, and road accidents. Inward anger can also cause more cases of self-harm.

Types of Anger Issues

There are 3 types of ways anger issues can manifest:

Inward anger

This means that your anger is directed towards yourself. It can be dark and depressing because people who are angry at themselves are full of negative self-talk. Even for the smallest things, they punish and self-criticize themselves. While many of us do criticize ourselves sometimes, it can be excessive for people losing their tempers easily. They deny themselves of things they enjoy, even from basic needs.

Outward anger

This is directing your anger towards others, verbally or physically. Sometimes, it can reach the point of abuse. While it may not be obvious sometimes in verbal aggression, it’s still a type of anger. Swearing, shouting, and saying mean things towards someone can count as a temper tantrum.

Passive anger

You may have heard people use the word “passive aggressive” when describing people. This actually refers to people who throw temper tantrums by giving the silent treatment. Sulking, being sarcastic and degrading, and backhanded compliments can be ways of being passive aggressive.

When Should I Take Online

Some amount of anger is normal. For some, it can be a serious problem. It can hurt yourself and those around you. In a way, anger can get you into legal trouble, depending on how you express it. That’s why it’s important to know if you’re experiencing anger management problems. Here are some signs:

Hurting others physically or verbally

This includes emotional and sexual abuse. If people around you have told you that the things you do hurt, that should make you wonder if you might have a problem.

You feel angry a lot

While there is a normal amount of anger, there isn’t a defined amount to say it’s “normal”. You can often catch yourself feeling angry. Your face feels flushed, your heart races, and you feel the urge to release these feelings.

You feel angry a lot

While there is a normal amount of anger, there isn’t a defined amount to say it’s “normal”. You can often catch yourself feeling angry. Your face feels flushed, your heart races, and you feel the urge to release these feelings.

You find your anger is out of control

When you feel angry, it can be hard to control even if you try to distract yourself. That’s because anger involves a lot of negative thoughts towards yourself and others. When these thoughts get overwhelming, it can be hard to keep it to yourself.

Even the smallest of things make you angry

It’s understandable if you get angry when some things don’t go your way. After the break-up, when you don’t get the job you want, or when someone disrespects you, anyone would get angry. However, when it’s something like simply tripping, someone making a small side comment, or even a change in weather makingx you angry, you might want to think if online anger management classes are what you need.

Chapter 3:

Why Do You Keep Losing Your Temper?

To understand a problem, it’s important to know where it comes from. Your temper doesn’t just come from an immediate trigger. Some people are more prone than others to get angry. Others have learned in from childhood. Try to think about which of these causes could be the possible cause for you:

Your childhood

As we grow, we form our own personalities and attitudes about the world. Even how you cope can be influenced how you’ve been raised.

You were taught angry outbursts are okay

Imagine you’re walking through the grocery, doing your own thing. Then, you hear a child throwing a tantrum because they want to buy their favorite sugary cereal. In response, the parent places their cereal in the cart to make them stop screaming. As a result, the child is taught that they can get what they want if they act out for it. This is an example of what it’s like to be raised believing that it’s okay to be angry. Even if you know it’s wrong, you may have been conditioned into acting out and getting angry when things don’t go your way.

You were taught that being angry isn’t okay

Imagine the scene before, but instead of a parent giving a child what they want during a tantrum, they scold them. They scold their child loudly until their child withdraws completely, not explaining why they were wrong to act out. This can result in you believing that your anger needs to be held in. However, when you hold these feelings in, the anger can be directed back inwards.

You saw your parents fight

If your parents were the type to fight with each other, or other people, you might have learned from them. In the same way that kids copy their parents eat, put on make-up, and other behaviors, they can learn to get mad, too. You might have learned to take it out on others. Maybe you found in scary, so your anger is more inward. Either way, it’s destructive because you were exposed to destructive attitudes, too.

Past events

If you’ve experienced abuse, trauma, bullying, or even teasing before, and you never processed these feelings, you might be holding your feelings from these events until now. Once you experience these things again, it can be hard to deal with. These might even be possible triggers. Without the proper outlet to feel these feelings, you might be keeping them inside for a long time. You might want to consider online anger management classes.

Current stressors

If you’re dealing with a lot right now, it can be easy to get angry. It can feel like everything is piling up, until you can no longer handle it. You become more irate towards small things. Also, when you’re too busy to process what’s happening, your feelings get bottled up until it explodes. If someone so much as adds more work for you, it can feel like the end of the world. For example, grief can cause anger. After losing someone important, it’s getsharder to cope with everything. As a result, you’re more sensitive to everything, anger included.

Chapter 4:

Online Anger Management Classes You Can Take

Managing your anger can be hard to do alone. Figuring out techniques that work for you isn’t as easy as forgiving and forgetting. You need to know how to process and move on after. Anger is one of the hardest feelings to process. This is because it’s hard to control and sometimes you can’t pin the reason why.

So what are online anger management classes?

 Online anger management classes are a type of therapy. Usually it uses behavioral therapy and ways of coping with your feelings when they’re hard to control. These classes are usually designed by a psychologist or any qualified mental health professional.

Behavioral therapy for anger management tackles how you think, feel, and act when you feel angry. You’ll be asked to identify what triggers you. These triggers can be anything like everyday pet peeves, small sources of stress, or even people around you. You’ll also identify how you react to these triggers. Do you take it out on others? Do you take it out on yourself? What things go through your head when it

Afterwards, you’ll go through strategies you can use. You don’t have to use all of them, since you shouldn’t expect them all to work. Instead, you should try them out once or twice and decide which ones to keep. They need to be catered to your needs as an individual. There are many you can choose from that you can find online.

Chapter 5:

How to Stop Losing Your Temper So Easily

There are ways you can avoid losing your temper towards yourself and others. It can be hard to control to the point you feel like exploding. Here are some things you can do outside of taking online management classes:

  • Think before you speak. Many people with anger issues end up regretting the things they say later on. When you feel like you’re about to say something hurtful, take a step back. It only takes a second to step back, and a few more to think. You can always say you’ll take a second to calm down, and you can walk away.
  • Express your anger when you’re calm. You’ll find that with a calmer mind, you’re in a better position to express yourself. At least when you’re calm, it’s assertive yet non-confrontational and objective.
  • Exercise. It’s already been shown that exercising releases happy hormones. You can place your energy into something more productive like jogging or lifting.
  • Say “I” instead of “You”. Avoid taking this away from you. These are your feelings. Express yourself by saying “I feel like…” rather than saying “You did/didnt…”
  • You don’t have to forgive them. You don’t have to forgive people to move on from what they do. Instead, avoid taking it out on other people. You don’t want to add to the problems you already have with more tension and conflict.
  • Be kind to yourself. If you feel inward anger, think about how you would calm down a friend or relative. Treat yourself with compassion, even when you’re frustrated. You deserve to treat yourself with kindness.
  • Practice relaxation techniques. You’ll learn this in online anger management classes, but remember to breathe and take it easy. Listen to music, do yoga, or whatever it takes to relax.
We have a DBT for Anger course at Epsychonline. It’s a 6 week online program that teaches interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance and other DBT skills. Visit our course page to learn more. 

"Practical and insightful" David

70 sections

6-Weeks Self-Paced

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

$9.00 $12.00

25% discount