Positive parenting solutions : How to raise thriving children

Written by: Aleksandra Eriksen Isham – PhD
(Psychology)

Last updated date : May 06, 2022
Reviews 4.1

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It is not easy to be a parent. Sure, there can be blissful moments. But parenthood often also involves disagreements, pushing of limits, and meltdowns. This can leave parents feeling tired, stressed and defeated. When parents feel that way, it can be easy to resort to unhelpful parenting techniques such as yelling. Unfortunately, these techniques are often counterproductive. This in turn may leave parents feeling even more stressed and defeated than they were in the first place. It is easy to see how this may turn into a vicious cycle of negative child and parent actions. However, there are ways to escape this cycle. One of these ways is called positive parenting solutions. Positive parenting has become popular the past few years thanks to its many benefits. Here are five positive parenting tips from parenting expert Amy McCready that can help make your family life a little more blissful.

Chapter 1:
Understand Your Child

One of the positive parenting tips you can try is to attempt to understand why your child acts in the ways they do. If your child nags or throws a tantrum, it can be easy to react with anger. This is because from your adult viewpoint, your child is acting in an unreasonable way. However, your child is, after all, just a child, and may view things quite differently. For your child, a meltdown may mean that they are hungry or tired. Or that they feel misunderstood or need your help.

In other words, from your child’s viewpoint, throwing a tantrum may simply be the best way that they as a child can think of to tell you what they need from you. Therefore, you should try to understand your child’s needs and how these are linked to what your child does. Once you understand this, you may be able to prevent meltdowns from happening in the first place. This is because you can then be more proactive towards your child’s needs.

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Chapter 2:
Positive Parenting Solutions Encourage Consistency

If your routines and expectations are consistent, this allows your child to know what to expect in their day-to-day life. When your child knows that you are consistent with your expectations, it makes it easier for them to understand how they should act. They are also less likely to push limits. Furthermore, when your child feels sure that you can give them consistent care, they feel safe to explore and learn.

In other words, if you are a consistent parent, your child is more likely to thrive and less likely to act in ways that you do not like. Therefore, it is important to try to have as consistent as possible routines and expectations for your child. In addition to being good for your child, this may also make you more content as a parent. This is because consistent expectations can reduce misunderstandings and conflicts between you and your child.

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Chapter 3:
Skip the Rewards

If you are like many other parents, you may believe that rewards is a good way to encourage actions from your child. Unfortunately, when children are rewarded often, they may loose rather than increase their interest in the action that they are being rewarded for. Instead, they may become more interested in the reward itself, and start to expect rewards for everything they do. Therefore, rewarding your child to encourage actions is not sustainable in the long run.

One of the positive parenting tips in this case is to instead use alternative ways to encourage positive actions. For example, if your child shares their toys with another child, you may want to tell your child that it was nice of them to think about the other child. You may also want to explore with your child how their action made the other child feel. Similarly, if your child finishes their homework before they go out and play with their friend, you may want to comment on their persistence. You may also want to explore with your child why it is important to do homework. That way, your child is more likely to learn and internalize positive actions, instead of being dependent on external rewards.

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Chapter 4:
Positive Parenting Solutions Encourage to Teach Instead of Punish

In the same way as rewards can be counterproductive, punishment can too. In addition, punishment can harm your bond with your child. Therefore, instead of punishing your child when they do something that you do not want them to do, consider using alternative ways to discourage these actions. One of the positive parenting tips is to try to explain your child the consequences of what they do. For example, if your child insists on wearing shorts on a cold winter day, explain to them that they will become cold if they do this. In some cases, this may be enough to make your child change their mind.

However, if they still insist on going outside in their shorts, let them step outside and experience for themselves that it might not be the best idea to wear shorts outside on a cold winter day. That way, your child is able to learn on their own what the best decision is, under your caring supervision. Of course, you should only use this approach if you are sure that what your child wants to do will not harm the child or someone else.

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Chapter 5:
Focus on What You Can Control

To be a parent would no doubt be easier if you could control your child’s actions. Unfortunately, truth is that you can’t always control what your child does. One thing you can control, however, is how you respond to what your child does. Therefore, one of the tips of positive parenting is to decide how you want to respond when your child does or does not fulfill a certain action or responsibility. You should then tell your child about this. As an example, you may tell your child that you are happy to wash their clothes as long as they put their clothes in the laundry basket. Once you have told them this, make sure that your child understands their responsibility, and help them find ways to remember and fulfill this. That way, you have made your expectations to your child clear. Likewise, your child knows exactly what to expect from you. This includes knowing that they will have to wear dirty clothes or wash their clothes themselves if they do not put them in the laundry basket. Of course, you should make sure that your child is old enough to manage the responsibilities that you give them. At Epsychonline we have a range of resources that can help you learn more about positive parenting solutions. You may want to read up a bit more on to get a better understanding of. We also have a series of self-help courses, including one on You can visit our Courses page to find a course that suits you.
Reviews 4.1

Learn evidence-based scientific ways of coping with chronic fatigue

99 Lessons

3 hours

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

€9.00 €12.00

25% discount