Coming Out to Parents Letter. How Do You Start a Coming Out Letter?

Written by: Arooj Paulus– B. Sc (Psychology)

Last updated date : October 05, 2022

Table of Contents Article title – DBT for anger
  1. Chapter 1
  2. Chapter 2
  3. Chapter 3
  4. Chapter 4
  5. Chapter 5
  6. Chapter 6
  7. Chapter 7
  8. Chapter 8

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Table of Contents Coming Out to Parents Letter. How Do You Start a Coming Out Letter?
  1. Tips to Write a Coming Out to Parents Letter
  2. Following a Coming Out to Parents Letter
  3. Call to Action

It might be difficult to find the right words to express yourself to someone close to you, especially if that person is your parent or sibling or someone you have known your whole life. Teenagers sometimes have a much tougher time picking the best words. It is already a tough situation to admit your real self. Gender identity realization and coming out is a thrilling action. Let us find out ways of coming out to parents in a letter. Let’s consider ways to start a coming-out letter.

We are aware of how difficult it can be you fight with yourself for your identity. As well as with other people as well. Social stigma is the biggest threat to LGBTQ Community. Even family members can be unable to understand you. So we recommend giving yourself some time to know your parent’s views and prepare their minds first to absorb your true self. Also, you can join support groups to learn and connect with others with similar experiences.

You can follow some of the tips mentioned in this article to start a coming out to parents letter. Write it if you feel ready and secure enough to tell their parents they are gay or lesbian but may not know how to phrase it. We hope it will serve as a platform for you to customize your journey as you see fit while also making it less difficult.

Let’s dive into how to start a coming-out letter.

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Chapter 1:

Tips to Write a Coming Out to Parents Letter

We all are aware of the classic coming-out letter. In truth, LGBT people coming out to their parents in letters, email, or text message is not that unusual. The ability to truly consider how you put in words and choose the right words for your feelings. Also, the reality that sometimes you simply can’t “make it” to inform your parents in a face-to-face talk are two major benefits of doing this.

You may learn how to start writing your coming-out to parents letter here.

1. There Is No Word Limit

You may make your coming-out letter as lengthy or as brief as you like. You may just write your feelings down in a letter, assess them carefully, and then write them down again. A letter is an excellent instrument for the free expression of feelings. No matter how many pages you finish up with, as long as you’re content with them. It is fine!

Note: Just feel free to write your heart out.

2. There Are No Rules

Your letter’s aim should be to inform your parents about yourself and your feeling, not to win a grammar competition. Just let your ideas wander freely, don’t allow strict grammatical rules or standards that guide sentences to hold you down.

Note: Do not complicate things by focusing on unnecessary details.

3. Writing about Everything (The Past, Present, and Future)

Use this little trick to add depth and meaning to your message. You can first start to write down your previous self-perceptions in the letter. Such as how confused and distressed you were about your real self.

Discus your present like how light it makes you discover your true self and what it means to you right now to discuss it with your parents. Describe how you are aware of who you are. Stay confident and let your parents know that coming to terms with who you are has taken time. Inform them that you want to be real with them and that this is your real self.

Further your can write down your aims and future goals in the letter. Your parents can be majorly concerned about your future, so discussing it with them can clear their doubts and concerns.

Note: Create a big picture in your coming-out letter to make it easier for your parents to understand.

4. Put Biases to Rest

A coming-out letter is an ideal technique to improve your parents’ knowledge of the LGBTQ Community if they do not already know anything about it. Clarify any basic beliefs, biases, or myths that parents may hold. Such as letting them know that it is not a mental issue. Many people are coming any people are coming out. Let them know about the pride moment and famous people who came out.

5. Do not Assume Anything

Although you are the closest to your family and may have an assumption of a particular response. But your parents can amaze you with varied responses. Observe that each member of your family may interpret the situation differently. So, take care to explain yourself in your letter without being rude.

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Chapter 2:

Following a Coming Out to Parents Letter

In our view, conservative parenting is one subject that should be discussed! Though conservative is not the same as homophobic, coming out to parents who are strongly committed to cultural practices is never easy in reality. Here are some suggestions for coming out if your parents are likewise very traditional.

  • Consider their history:
    Everyone has grounds for their actions and their perspective. If you do not even know, try to talk to your parents and find out what they think of LGBTQ Community. For instance, you may ask them in random conversation what they think about the celebrity who has recently come out. Their generation is different so think about the things from their perspective also.
  • You might be more successful in coming out if you get the reasons your parents behave and believe the way they do.
  • The start may be difficult:
    Even while we all want to come out to our parents with no issues, it can be harder, notably if they are conservative. Mentally prepare yourself for the possibility that your connection with your parents will likely be a little more challenging for a while. But also remember that most often is the initial response the last one.
  • Do not doubt yourself and embrace your growth:
    Remember that it is not your fault. Your parents may question why you are torturing them. Or may ask you to consider what others will think. Instead of trying to adjust or even run away, embrace your true self and your mental wellness.

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Chapter 3:

Call to Action

You can read and learn more about coming out to your friend or family at Epsychonline. We recommend you to read “Coming Out: How to Come Out to Your Parents”.

We understand how difficult this situation can be for you. So you can further start the online course “Coming Out” on Epsychonline. So that you can better manage your distress and positive ways to come out. You can also join a course, “Low Self-Esteem“, to build your self-worth and identity.

We hope to be a help to you. Join right away!

Reviews 4.1

Learn evidence-based DBT for Anger skills

69 Lessons

6 hours

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

€9.00 €12.00

25% discount