How Do I Tell If He Loves Me - Does He Love Me?

Written by: Shreya Manerkar – MA (Clinical Psychology))

Last updated date : March 11, 2023

Jenny has been in a relationship with Mark for the past six months. However, she feels that the initial spark is dying down. She calls her close friend Rose and vents out her feelings, “Does my boyfriend love me?, she says sadly. She asks Rose, “How do I tell if he loves me or not?Let us see what Rose has to say.

In this article, we will answer some questions such as what is love and how it feels. We will also discuss some signs to observe when we want to know if your boyfriend loves you.

Some key terms that will help you understand this article better:

  • Love – Love is a strong positive feeling that we feel for others. If we love someone, we feel attached and fond of them. People feel deep affection toward others when they are in love.
  • Healthy Relationship – A healthy relationship involves trust, honesty, care, respect, and open
    communication. Love and a healthy relationship go hand in hand. When a person wants to have a healthy relationship, they put in effort and compromise when necessary.

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Chapter 1:

How Does Love Feel?

Love is an essential part of our life. We all like to feel loved and wanted. Have you had “butterflies” in your stomach when you are with your boyfriend or partner? The initial instant feeling of attraction and nervousness you feel is passionate love. However, over time, it turns into compassionate love.

As time passes in the relationship, the love you feel for your boyfriend and vice versa will change and grow. You feel calm, comfortable and at ease in presence of your partner.

A good way to tell if your boyfriend loves you is to see how their behavior has changed over time.

Chapter 2:

How Do I Tell If He Loves Me?

At some point in our life, we have asked ourselves “How do I tell if he loves me?” Well, you are not alone, all of us have this doubt. We will share some signs to understand if your boyfriend loves you or not.

Talks About the Future

An easy way to tell if your boyfriend loves you is if he discusses plans with you. Along with his plans, he speaks about life with you. However, if he doesn’t talk about plans, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He may be afraid of commitment and needs more time. He may make weekend plans or plan future trips to show you that you are important.

Speaking About Feelings

You can tell your boyfriend loves you when he is comfortable talking about his feelings. He won’t be hesitant to tell you how he feels and be vulnerable around you.

Respects You

Another simple way to tell if your partner loves you or not is to see if he respects you. Respect and love go hand in hand, and therefore if your boyfriend loves you, he will respect your views and who you are.

Pays Attention to You

Along with respecting you, he also pays attention to you. He listens to your concern, pays attention to your likes, and dislikes, and accommodates your requests. This is a good sign to tell you if he loves you or not.

Shows Affection

Another good way to tell if your partner or boyfriend is in love with you is to observe if he shows affection. Does he hug you? Does he hold you or like to cuddle with you? Maybe he shows affection in other ways. It is important to understand that love and affection are not only physical touch, they can be some subtle signs.

Shows Interest in Your Life

You can tell if your boyfriend loves you when he shows interest in your family and friends. He is comfortable meeting your family and hanging out with them, even if he doesn’t like them. You will observe that when he meets your family, he will try to engage in conversation with them and make them feel comfortable.

He Makes Time for You

Another important sign to tell if he loves you is when he makes time for you. Does he take time out of his busy schedule to make plans with you? A plan doesn’t have to be something elaborate; it can be something simple as meeting for dinner, going to a movie, or just relaxing at home. The important thing is he likes to spend time with you.

He Enjoys the Relationship Beyond the Bedroom

Love and a healthy relationship go beyond the bedroom. Your boyfriend will show interest in you beyond sex. Almost all relationships start with a lot of passion, which is often confused with real love. However, once the initial high fades away, what grows is love.

So, even if you feel that the initial spark has gone down, you need to observe other signs that can tell you if he loves you. Is your partner only interested in having sex, or does he put the effort into the relationship?

Wants to Work on the Relationship

An important sign that can tell you whether he loves you or not is his willingness to work on the relationship. When a problem arises, do both of you sit and sort things out? Are you both working on changing and making the relationship better?

Chapter 3:

Does My Boyfriend Love Me?

Well, after reading the previous section, you now have a fair idea of the signs to look for. However, you should not jump to conclusions only after reading about these signs. There could be various reasons why he may not show the exact signs that we have mentioned.

It is important to remember that each person has a different way of expressing their love. There are no “one shoe fits all”, especially in the case of love. We advise against comparing yourself to other relationships. Remember, no two people are the same, and therefore they will not react in the same way in a relationship.

What we recommend is having an open and honest conversation with your partner. However difficult it may be to bring up this topic, it will help put your worries at ease. Once you communicate your feelings, he will also tell you if he loves you or not.

If, however, he does not love you, you may feel dejected and sad. You may also feel anger towards him or even question your self-worth. In case you are faced with this dilemma, we suggest enrolling in our self-help courses, Low Self Esteem and DBT for Anger, which will help you deal with any negative emotions you may feel in case you don’t get a positive response from your boyfriend.

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95 sections

6-Weeks Self-Paced

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

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