How to Come Out to Your Best Friend? Right Way to Come Out

Written by: Arooj Paulus – B. Sc (Applied Psychology)

Last updated date : March 26, 2023

It is natural to have concerns about how to come out to your best friend. As announcing that you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community to others might be scary. You might be afraid to come out to your friends but it can be a thrilling period in your life. It is okay to be concerned about how others may react when you reveal your sexual or gender identity. Let’s see if there is a right way to come out.

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Chapter 1:

Choosing to Come Out to Your Friend or Family?

You may become relieved when you can be your actual self and you do not have to pretend anymore. However, due to the norms of different cultures, you may be doubtful that how your life could shift once you do come out to your best friend or a dear one. You may have questions such as

  • What will the community’s response be?
  • Will the people you tell to pass the information on to someone you’d rather not know?
  • Is it safe to come out to your best friend?

Chapter 2:

Points for and against Coming Out to Your Best Friend

You may choose to come out for a variety of reasons. Here are a few examples:

  • When you are ready to start dating and want to tell your close friends and family about it.
  • If you don’t want others to make assumptions or talk about you. Then revealing your true self might be a good idea for your peace of mind.
  • You may be sick of seeing prejudice against the LGBTQ+ community. So you come out to accept yourself.
  • You don’t want to feel like you are living a lie or not being true to yourself. You want to be appreciated for who you are.

However, you may choose not to come out for some reasons. Here are a few examples:

  • You may still be struggling to find your real self. While figuring out what’s going on.
  • You may be terrified of being bullied, harassed, discriminated against, or even assaulted.
  • It can be difficult for you to come out to your best friend or family. You might be afraid of their reaction and losing them.
  • If you reside in a society that is not very welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community.

So, accepting yourself against the norms of society can be difficult but one should keep true to oneself for peace of mind. If you are having trouble coming out, you can start by sharing with someone close. So coming out to your best friend might be a good idea.

Chapter 3:

Ways to Come Out to Your Best Friend

The majority of people eventually come out of their comfort zone to share. You may begin by informing a counselor or someone close to you, such as coming out to your best friend. people usually tell a therapist to ensure that their information remains secret. Some people may also seek help from an LGBTQ+ support group to work through their issues regarding identification or coming out.

Decide as to who you feel comfortable telling. There is a right way to come out. Here are some of the ways by which you can come out to your best friend in the right way.

1. Decide with Whom to Share

Once you’ve decided with whom you want to share your information such as your best friend. Decide whether it is going to help if you come out to your best friend. Let’s consider below mentioned points.

  1. Hold onto coming out until you’re ready.
  2. To find out if your friend is welcoming, ask him/her about LGBTQ+ rights.
  3. Decide on someone you believe will support you the most and tell them first.
  4. Delay informing anybody you believe will refuse or judge you.
  5. Also, don’t be discouraged if your friends do not accept your gender identity. You can make new friends in your LGBTQ+ support group.
2. Choose the Right Words

Choosing the right words and planning what to say is the key. Write down the points that appear most significant to you after considering what you want to say. Express your feelings to your friend from the bottom of your heart.

  1. You can write down a note or a text message to your friend.
  2. Or have a face-to-face conversation in a peaceful place.
  3. Express your pride in your true identity by speaking positively.
  4. You may just speak what makes you comfortable.
  5. To make the process of coming out to your friend, you may practice what you will likely be saying.
3. Revealing Your Real Self

The real challenge comes with how to reveal your gender identity. It is up to you whether you want to reveal it in person or by note.

  1. You can call your friend to meet up for lunch or dinner.
  2. Or you can call or text your friend.
  3. If you want to add some fun and enjoyment, use props. Such as giving a cupcake saying “I’m a Bi” or singing it to them.
4. Handling Different Outcomes

It is okay for people to have different opinions and reactions as every one of us is different. Just know that there can be a variety of reactions and emotions. Be equipped to manage many sorts of reactions as well.

  1. Be prepared for questions from your friend.
  2. Be patient with your friend while they absorb what you shared.
  3. Do not be disheartened if the outcome does not turn out to be what you expected.
  4. Keep your attention on the positive points because you should be proud of who you are.
  5. Embrace who and what you are on the inside.
  6. Realize that it is important to grow through what you go through.

Chapter 4:

Call to Action

You can read and learn more about coming out to your friend or family at Epsychonline by reading “Coming Out: How to Come Out to Your Parents”.

We understand how difficult it can be for you so you can further start the online course “Coming Out” on Epsychonline to better manage your distress. We hope to be a help to you. Join right away!

"Structured and engaging course" Joan

69 sections

6-Weeks Self-Paced

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

$9.00 $12.00

25% discount