How to Get over a Friendship Breakup – Dealing With Loss

Written by: Shreya Manerkar – MA (Psychology)

Last updated date : September 18, 2022

Table of Contents
Article title – Low self esteem
  1. Chapter 1
  2. Chapter 2
  3. Chapter 3
  4. Chapter 4
  5. Chapter 5
  6. Chapter 6
  7. Chapter 7
  8. Chapter 8

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Table of Contents How to Get over a Friendship Breakup – Dealing With Loss
  1. How to Get over a Friendship Breakup?
  2. How to Deal With Losing Friends?
  3. Is It Okay to Feel Sad?

Jane and Lucy were friends for almost 10 years. But recently they had a fall-out and decided to never speak again. Jane was heartbroken and wondered how to get over a friendship breakup. She also wondered how to deal with losing friends.

We will start the article by discussing what is friendship breakup. Following this, we will clear your doubts about how you can deal with losing friends and how to get over a this breakup. We will also discuss if it okay to feel bad when you lose a friend.

In this article, you will come across some important terms such as friendship breakup, loss, and grief.

  • Friendship breakup – When two people grow apart, the relationship ends. Even with friends, when do not feel connected anymore or have an unhealthy relationship, you may break up with them. It is similar to a breakup in a romantic relationship.
  • Loss -is the act of losing something or someone. People feel sad when they suffer a loss due to the death of a loved one, losing a friend, job, or even money.
  • Grief – when you lose a friend or loved one you feel grief. It is common to feel sadness when we lose someone close to us.

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Chapter 1:
How to Get over a Friendship Breakup?

Dealing with losing friends is never easy. It takes time to get over the fact that they are not in our lives anymore. Just like Jane and Lucy, have you also grown apart from a friend? Or maybe they moved away from you and you are not close to them anymore. How does this make you feel? Sad, upset, or maybe even angry. If you are feeling grief or sadness, we will help you deal with the loss of a friend and how you can get over a friendship breakup.

Understand What Went Wrong

First and foremost, it is important to understand what went wrong. As difficult as it may be, think of some situations which made you realize you don’t connect with your friend anymore.

Maybe your friend always fought with you or made fun of you. Perhaps they didn’t respect you and your boundaries. Were you made to feel guilty for standing up for yourself? If your answer to these questions is a yes, the friendship breakup is okay. Just like relationships, it is important to understand that friendships also do not work.

Accept Your Feelings

Gaining and losing friends is a normal part of life. However, dealing with losing a friend is a challenge. Every time we undergo a friendship breakup, we tend to feel grief. Sometimes you moved on from your friends and sometimes your friends have grown apart from you.

You need to accept that a void is created because from now on you won’t talk as often to your friend, you won’t update them about your life, and so on. You may also feel angry or upset that you are not close to your friend anymore.

Focus On Yourself

After a friendship breakup, you may feel like the world has come to an end. You may feel that the best way to deal with losing friends is taking your blanket and cuddle up in bed. While the pain and sadness may be overwhelming, it is important to focus on yourself.

As difficult as it may be, focus on self-care. Follow the same routine that you had when you were still in contact with your friend. The more you focus on things you can control, the faster you will get over the friendship breakup. Do not neglect yourself because you lost a friend. That is an unhealthy way of dealing with losing friends.

Don’t Overthink

Don’t think of old situations over and over again. Remember, thinking of the past will only bring pain and sadness. The more you focus on trying to think of the past, the more you will stop yourself from feeling happiness.

Avoid browsing through old messages, looking at old photos, or checking your friend’s social media pages. If you see your friend having a good time online and has moved on, you will be sadder. This will not help you get over the friendship breakup nor deal with losing friends.

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Chapter 2:
How to Deal With Losing Friends?

Friendship breakups can have the same effect on us as romantic relationships. Sometimes, it can be even more painful to deal with losing a friend over accepting a broken relationship. While losing friends along the way is normal, losing someone very close to us can cause a lot of sadness.

Even though Jane wished Lucy would not go, the reality is the friendship was over. It was a big loss to accept that someone whom she called her best friend didn’t even want to talk to her anymore. She had mixed feelings – anger, confusion, and sadness.

If you wish to deal with losing friends, here are some tips you can follow:

  • Stop trying to fix things, especially when it was an unhealthy relationship
  • Accept your feelings about the situation
  • Go out and meet new people. Explore your interests and find like-minded friends
  • Don’t blame your friend or yourself. If you keep blaming yourself or your friend, you will never get over the friendship breakup
  • Write your thoughts and feelings in a journal
  • Talk to family members or other close friends
  • Time is known to heal wounds and hence you should give it some time
  • Don’t neglect your own needs. Sleep, eat, exercise, and remain active.

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Chapter 3:
Is It Okay to Feel Sad?

Yes, it is okay to feel sad when dealing with losing friends. It is a normal part of losing someone close to you. Sadness due to the loss of friends is pretty common.

Though there is no specific time to get over a friendship breakup, it takes approximately six months. To completely accept the loss of a friend, you will go through five stages of emotions – grief, disbelief, a desire to reconnect, anger, depression, and acceptance.

As we mentioned, your first reaction will be grief or sadness. After this stage, you will undergo disbelief that they don’t talk to you anymore. Since you are still unable to accept that they are not a part of your life, you will have the desire to reconnect with them. You will feel anger and depression because you wish things could change. Finally, you will accept that it is over.

Sometimes it may be easier to get over some friendship breakups. However, at other times, you may feel like the pain won’t go away. At such times, you should seek help either from an expert or a self-help course like DBT for Anger. It will help you get over the stages of a friendship breakup.

Reviews 4.1

Learn evidence-based scientific ways to build self-esteem In this six

51 Lessons

12 hours

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

€9.00 €12.00

25% discount