I Am Disgusting and I Hate Myself. Am I Self Loathing?

Written by: Arooj Paulus – B. Sc (Psychology)

Last updated date : September 24, 2022

Table of Contents Article title – Body image concerns
  1. Chapter 1
  2. Chapter 2
  3. Chapter 3
  4. Chapter 4
  5. Chapter 5
  6. Chapter 6
  7. Chapter 7
  8. Chapter 8

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Do you constantly feel disgusting and hate yourself? You might be self-loathing. Self-hatred may make you feel as though someone is always watching you, finding fault with you, and calling you out on your mistakes. It is a difficult feeling.

In this article, we will discuss self-loathing, its signs, and the possible reasons for it. In the end, read under our “Call to Action” heading to find related articles and courses to overcome this feeling of self-hatred.

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Chapter 1:

What Is Self-Loathing? “Why Do I Hate Myself”?

The belief that you are not good enough is continually reinforced by self-loathing. It is a feeling as if you hate yourself. Or like your inner self is constantly pointing out your mistakes and weaknesses. As a result, you could think that you are undeserving of love or that bad things happen for a reason because you are unworthy.

Although every person can doubt themselves from time to time while it is normal and maybe even good for personal growth. But it is never healthy for anyone to live in an almost continual state of self-hatred.

Research suggests that suicidal thoughts are significantly fueled by self-hatred. The one important thing you should know if you are at a point where you believe that “I am disgusting and I hate myself”, is that your life does not have to be this way.

You may have thoughts such as

  • “I predicted this failure.”
  • “I do not even want to try because I know I will fail.”
  • “I am a loser”.
  • “Nobody wants me”.
  • “I am failing once again”.
  • “I am not worthy”.

If you feel disgusting and hate yourself, it might be challenging to deal with self-hatred on your own. The good news is that you can overcome self-loathing. The first step in developing good connections with other people is to acknowledge your worth.

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Chapter 2:

The Cycle of Self-Loathing

The critical inner voice, which oftentimes only seems to be your guilt, is the process that drives self-loathing. Like your mind, it could alert you to actions that are not in your best interests. However, this course of action is totally against your best interests. You may feel trapped in your feelings and actions. For instance, when a person starts believing that he or she is incapable of doing any task and feels disgusting then they hinder themselves from being contended or productive. This belief makes you limit yourself and focus only on your weaknesses.

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Chapter 3:

Harmful Effects of Self-Hatred

Hatred of oneself can eventually result in serious issues. The longer you are exposed to it, the stronger the consequences could be. If we keep telling ourselves that we are not worthy or good enough, the results might be severe.

Those who hate or loathe themselves could have the following effects.

  • Engage in harmful habits, such as overeating or undereating, social isolation etc.
  • Engage in close relationships with toxic people.
  • Worry a lot about possible issues in the future.
  • May start using drugs or alcohol.
  • Do not have faith in themselves.
  • Feel like an outsider. For instance, they have depersonalization and may feel numb.
  • Find it challenging to decide for themselves.
  • Hold back or refuse to pursue their goals in life.
  • Find it difficult to think positively about them.
  • Does not possess the courage to explore new things in life as they feel like they may fail at it.
  • Have a pessimistic outlook on the future and life.
  • Start to ruin relations.
  • Struggle with a declining sense of worth.

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Chapter 4:

Why Do You Feel “I Am Disgusting and Hate Myself”?

It takes time for self-hatred to grow. Usually, many factors, including any past traumatic experience, unrealistic hopes, social comparisons, perfectionism, and a number of acquired habits, are responsible for its onset.

1. Trauma

Some people who self-hate have gone through mentally trying and painful situations in the past. These events frequently involve sexual, physical, or mental violence as well as neglect. Children who have gone through trauma may begin to view their surroundings and the people in them as harmful and dangerous. In an effort to make sense of their environment, people could invent a narrative about themselves that leads them to feel they are unlovable and undeserving of value and happiness in their life.

2. Unrealistic Hopes

Wanting to fit in, be liked, or do work well is common. But sometimes our standards for ourselves might be so high that no person could meet them. We often fall short of these incredibly high hopes and feel inferior as a result.

When this occurs, it feels as though our inner self seems to criticize us and bring to light how unworthy we have been. Even when our rational side recognizes that the demands are unreasonable, our inner critic keeps pounding negative self-talk.

3. Pleasing Others

We could have learned over time that meeting other people’s needs helps us build relationships with them. Through our connections with others, we may discover that when others are pleased with us, we may also be pleased with ourselves. This view of connections may potentially lead to dependent behavior styles.

However, when they are unable to meet the expectations of others, some people get extremely depressed. There is a narrative of self-hatred that suggests there is something wrong with us when we do not live up to what others demand of us. As we may feel that we have fallen short and are undeserving of other people’s love or respect.

4. Comparisons

Because humans are social beings, we live in communities. As a result, we often make comparisons as we examine the lives of those around us and do so. Upward comparison is a typical habit when you hate yourself. This refers to a bias to respect and pay attention to those who are performing “better” than others. As a result, the person who is self-loathing start to devalue them and hate them.

5. Perfectionism

A perfectionist is frequently thought of as someone who gives himself no space for mistakes, no leeway for human flaws or limits. At all times and under all conditions, they expect excellence from others and themselves. When they make any faults, a person with perfectionist tendencies, for instance, may find them disgusting or may hate them.

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Chapter 5:

Call to Action

You can read “Feeling Down or Feeling Sad? Know the Signs”, under the section on feelings at Epsychonline. To help learn about your feelings of sadness and related self-hatred.

Further, you can enroll in the Self-Esteem course on our website. Research suggests that self-hate is a form of poor self-esteem that can result in self-harm. So, the mentioned course will help you to cope with your feelings of being disgusted and hating yourself.

We hope this article was helpful to you. Sign up now for more learning.

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Learn evidence-based scientific ways to fix body image issues.

70 Lessons

6 hours

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

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