Is It Normal for My Girlfriend to Hit Me - Is It Okay?

Written by: Shreya Manerkar– MA (Psychology)

Last updated date : September 17, 2022

Table of Contents Article title – DBT for anger
  1. Chapter 1
  2. Chapter 2
  3. Chapter 3
  4. Chapter 4
  5. Chapter 5
  6. Chapter 6
  7. Chapter 7
  8. Chapter 8

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Robert has been with Natalie for a year now. However, six months into the relationship, Robert noticed Natalie getting angry at small things. She would often blame him without it being his fault. Her anger would get so bad, that she would even hit him. Robert was shocked, he didn’t know what to do. He contacted a close friend and asked “Is it okay and normal for my girlfriend to hit me?”. Let us see what the friend has to say.

In this article, you will understand what is domestic violence and the signs of women who abuse in relationships. Following this, you will get answers to the question “Is it okay and normal for my girlfriend to hit me”. We will end the article by discussing what you should do if your girlfriend hits you in the future.

Let us begin by defining some key terms that you will come across in this article:

  • Domestic Violence – It happens when one partner hits or beats the other partner in a relationship. Sometimes a person may also use foul language. They can also sexually assault their partner.
  • Abuse – In a relationship, one partner tries to control another partner by trying to hit them or using bad words.
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Chapter 1:
Signs of Women Who Abuse Men

Often, people ignore when men say that a woman has hit them. If your girlfriend hits you, you may find it difficult to openly speak about it to your friends. You may justify her behavior as the change in hormones or stress due to work. However, would you justify a man hitting a woman? Here are some signs that a woman is abusing a man.

  • Constantly being angry
  • Mood keeps frequently changing
  • Trying to threaten or create fear
  • Screaming, shouting, and yelling
  • Purposely withholding sex
  • Keeping partner away from friends
  • Using foul language
  • Making fun of their partner and calling them names
  • Hitting or beating their partner

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Chapter 2:
How Does It Affect My Life When My Girlfriend Hits Me?

Accepting that you are in an abusive relationship is not easy. Just like Robert, you may also feel shocked that your girlfriend hit you. Initially, you may try to ignore the fact that you were hit. Maybe you think it was the first and last time that she hit you. However, she keeps hitting you and you can’t ignore it anymore. Let us understand how you may feel after your girlfriend hits you.

Effect of Hitting on Emotions

If your girlfriend has hit you, you may feel shame. You also worry that people will judge you and call you ‘weak’ or ‘not manly’. Apart from this, you may feel anxious and scared of being around your partner. You may also find it difficult to trust others. Moreover, you may feel emotionally numb and withdraw from people. Most importantly, it is very stressful to be hit by your girlfriend.

Physical Effects of Hitting

Stress has an effect not only on emotions but also on the body. If your girlfriend has hit you, you may start having sleepless nights because you are scared. Since you are not sleeping well, you start feeling tired all the time. Moreover, you may stop eating food because of stress. As a result of this, you may start having stomach issues such as acidity or bloating. Additionally, you may also eat a lot and put on weight.

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Chapter 3:
Is It Normal and Okay to Be Hit by Your Girlfriend?

No! hitting is never alright in a relationship. Domestic violence and abuse are a sign of an unhealthy relationship. It can be extremely difficult to accept that your girlfriend is capable of hitting you. Just because she is your girlfriend does not mean she can hit you. This is a sign of disrespect. Moreover, it is a method of putting fear in your mind.

You may have heard of boyfriends or husbands hitting their girlfriends or wives. However, sometimes men also face abuse. Unfortunately, due to pressure from society, men don’t openly talk about it to others. Just because people don’t talk about it does not mean it is okay or normal.

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Chapter 4:
What Should You Do If You Are Being Hit?

Remember, with time the hitting from your girlfriend will only get worse. It is important to break the cycle, speak up and find support. Here are some simple steps you can follow in case you face such a situation.

Speak to a Close Friend

Speaking to someone who you can trust is very important. This will help you build a support system. Having someone you can trust will help you come up with a plan if your girlfriend continues hitting you. It will also help you leave the house and stay with someone.

Have a Safety Plan

Your safety is the top priority and hence you need to have a safety plan in case of any future situations. In your plan, you need to add a few details such as an emergency contact number and a place that you can stay. You can also have the contact number of any social groups or the police.

Join a Support Group

While it can be very difficult to come to terms that your girlfriend is hitting you, you are not alone. There are others just like you who face a similar situation. Joining a support group can help you deal with your negative feelings.

A support group can also help when you have to face a similar difficult situation in the future. With the help of people from the group, you can learn different ways to cope with hitting and learn useful safety measures.

Don’t Seek Revenge

When someone acts badly toward you, the first reaction is to seek revenge. You may feel this is the best option when you are angry, however, this is not the answer. Acting out of anger can only lead to more problems. In fact, this may give your girlfriend even more reason to justify why they hit you.

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Chapter 5:
Final Thoughts

It is never okay to hit anyone whether it is a boy or a girl. Accepting that your girlfriend hits you can be very difficult. In fact, it can leave a deep void in your life. You may start questioning yourself and mistrusting people.

However, know that you are not alone. It is important to leave the relationship because it is unhealthy. If you are still in a relationship, it may affect your confidence to deal with future problems. You may also believe that you are to be blamed. Hence, we recommend joining the Low self-esteem course which will help you overcome any self-doubt and live life on your terms.

Reviews 4.1

Learn evidence-based DBT for Anger skills

69 Lessons

6 hours

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

€9.00 €12.00

25% discount