Losing a parent in your 20s is difficult. It feels unbelievable when we lose a parent. You need your parent at any point in your life. Losing them makes you feel empty. You lose their support, love, and guidance and the pain seems difficult to heal. Sometimes we also have a rough relationship with our parents and the sudden death of a parent might result in a lot of overwhelming emotions. After losing your mom in your 20s, some people recover from grief quickly whereas others may take more time. There is no right or wrong way to grieve but below are a few ways that can help you to deal with losing a parent in your 20s.
1. Your Feelings
When losing a parent in your 20s we have a lot of different emotions. But, whatever we feel, all of that is valid. Sadness is the most common and natural emotion. It is natural to feel other emotions. Sometimes you might not feel sad but feel numb. You might also feel a sense of relief that your parent is no longer in pain. Grief makes you feel uncomfortable. The truth is that no one is ever ready to deal with this. Losing your mom or dad in your 20s is a devastating feeling. Hence, you have the freedom to experience any emotions. It is okay if it is beyond your control.
Sometimes you might also experience other emotions such as:
- Feeling angry or frustrated.
- Feeling guilty. This could be especially if you were not in touch with them as much you had to or if you were not present during their last journey.
- Feeling emotionally numb and being in a state of shock.
- Feeling confused.
- Not wanting to accept that they have left you.
- Feeling hopeless.
- Experiencing body aches and pains.
- Mental health issues.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel
Losing a parent in your 20s is the most heartbreaking thing. No matter how long it takes, you should allow yourself to fully experience the feelings of loss. Every person reacts to grief in different ways. But, it is important to feel all the feelings. There is no right way to experience or show that you are grieving. Also, there is no set amount of time or stages in grief. It is unstructured and hence it is difficult to accept. Not accepting how you feel might feel like you are healing faster. But, it is not good for you.
Grief has an impact on your daily life. Your daily routine or activities also go for a toss. It is natural to feel stressed out. You might also notice the following-
- Your mental health will have an impact.
- Poor concentration.
- Changes in sleep.
- Loss of appetite.
- Feeling irritated.
- Increased use of alcohol.
- Loss of interest in everyday activities.
- Feeling lonely.
- Feeling sad, angry, or even guilty.
Many people think by distracting themselves, they can escape from these feelings. But, be aware of how you feel. Do not distract yourself until you are ready. Bringing a balance is important. You can distract yourself and also at the same time find ways to process your grief.
How Can You Manage Yourself Post Losing a Parent in Your 20S?
- Sleep well and avoid missing meals.
- Stay active and keep moving. A daily walk can be helpful.
- Pursue your hobbies. You can restart your hobbies and spend time with yourself.
- Mediation or writing down thoughts can also help to deal with overwhelming emotions.
- Forgiveness- Many times you feel lost, numb, or guilty after losing your parent. You might also feel angry that why did this happen to me or even that you did not get time to address your conflict with them. But, sometimes it is best to accept what has happened no matter how incomplete it feels. No matter what the equation was with your parent, losing your mom in your 20s is hard. Sometimes it is difficult to forgive but you need to do it for your mental peace. Losing your mom is tough especially if you did not share a good relationship with her. These feelings keep coming to you and make you feel overwhelmed. The best to do is forgive no matter how difficult it is.
Other Things That You Can Do While Dealing With Losing a Parent in Your 20S
- Share memories- You can talk to family members or others about your parent. You can share stories or memories that keep them alive. At first, this might be difficult but when you start talking about it then stories start coming easily. You can even collect their photographs or even write a letter about expressing your grief.
- Do something for them- You can do something in their memory. This helps to feel comforted also. For example, you can plant a tree in their memory, or donate food or something to old age homes or an orphanage.
- Spend time with your loved ones- Many friends or loved ones have gone through a similar experience. Spending time with them can be therapeutic. It can uplift your mood and also they can help you sail through these emotions.
- Joining grief support groups- Although friends and family help you, you might need a different kind of setup to help you process your grief. Joining grief support groups can be considered. Losing a parent in your 20s is hard so then such groups help you to process your grief and feel comforted. A support group helps you to validate your emotions and also get a shared understanding.
- Seeking therapy- Sometimes no matter what you do you find it difficult. It is okay. You might need extra support to help you cope after losing your parent in your 20s. You can seek therapy and talk to a counselor. For example, Losing your mom in your 20s involves a lot of complex emotions. Hence, a counselor can acknowledge your emotionsand also help you work through your emotions. You can also learn coping strategies to help you. Therapy is also a safe space to talk about any kind of emotions that you feel.