Overprotective parents in your 20s and how to deal with them?

Written by: Rajasree Biswas – M. Sc (Psychology)

Last updated date : October 04, 2022

Table of Contents Article title – DBT for anger
  1. Chapter 1
  2. Chapter 2
  3. Chapter 3
  4. Chapter 4
  5. Chapter 5
  6. Chapter 6
  7. Chapter 7
  8. Chapter 8

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Overprotective parents try to protect their youngsters from physical, mental, and emotional harm. Moreover, they want to make sure that their offspring succeed so that they can soften the blows of reality. These parents try to help the their offspring even in their 20s with their goals. And in doing so, they become controlling. They develop a tunnel vision. They seem to parents not give regard to the concerns and opinions of the individual and believe they know best. These individuals in their 20s are treated as children. Exploration is something that needs to be one of the main aspects of the 20s. But they are not allowed to do so.

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Chapter 1:
What Is the Definition of Overprotective Parenting?

What consists of overprotective parenting?

Firstly, it is important to accept that overprotective parents are also trying to do the best they can for their children. They want the best for their child. Even if that means crushing their way through the possibly harmful realities of reality.

  • Sheltering: Overprotective parents often think that they are doing what is best for their children. Parents usually try to guard their children against the “more challenging,” “less attractive,” and “rough” parts of childhood.

  • Constant looking over and Micromanagement : They do not allow the adult to engage in independent activities as they do not think they are responsible. These parents try to micromanage every aspect of the youngster’s life.
  • Prevention of Taking Responsibility : The children do not get to do chores. Adults in their 20s usually do not thrive under these conditions.

  • Excessive Catering and Over-Consoling: Children who are cared for more than usual, turn out to be demanding. They are also sheltered from rejection. Moreover, rejection is an important part of life and it teaches them to bounce back up.
  • Controlling of the Social Sphere: These parents are too involved in the social circle of the adult who is in his 20s. They want to know where they are going, with whom.

What Is Helicopter Parenting and What Does It Mean?

According to a large number of studies, helicopter parenting may be harmful to children’s development. Both in childhood and in 20s, it can result in social anxiety and mental fatigue. Intrusive parents, sometimes known as helicopter parents, bulldozer parents, and lawnmower parents are very much involved in the child’s education. For instance, Alicia Bradley, a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and adjunct professor, offers the following advice:

“This term is commonly used with teenagers and even adults, because it alludes to a parent’s attempt to be involved in every aspect of their persons life, not just in a supporting, but also in a dominating way. This can be challenging for the youngster and might lead to stress or conflict in the relationship.”

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Chapter 2:
What are the effects of Overprotective parenting?

  • Children unprepared for the outside world.
  • Dependent and unconfident children
  • Children who deceive others
  • Fearful children
  • Children entitled

Overprotected Children Tend to Struggle in Relationships

Struggle in relationship is common with adults in their 20s. Overprotected adults face some of the worse side of it. Some of them are:

  • They tend to be extremely passive. When it comes to relationships, these adults are frequently very passive in any relationships they get into. The majority of relationships are short-lived.
  • When their partner is the more dominating one, they may fall into abusive relationships because of their lack of adequate social skills.

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Chapter 3:
How to deal with strict or overprotective parents?

If one has overprotective parents, then they are probably familiar with the fight that arises when one wants to leave the house or spend time with friends without being watched.  Below are some ways mentioning how one can deal with overprotective parents.

Ways to deal with helicopter parents

  • Start preparing Yourself and Your Determination: If you have had enough of not being able to hang out with your pals but want more freedom, the very first thing you have to do is prepare your mind. This is quite important. You’ll have to overcome the impulse to cave in and prevent further conflict the first time you take a stand against your parent(s).

  • Make a Statement: Keep your end goal in mind before confronting your parent(s). Try to barter and maintain the level at a level which they will accept. If your parents are concerned about you hanging out with individuals of the opposite sex , try to assure them that there would be a large number of people there. If they don’t like it when you stay out past a certain time, go see a movie and return before the deadline. You can begin to ask for more after a while. When you leave the house, they will become more at ease. 

  •  Be Patient and Keep Trying : The more you try to convince them, harder it is for them to agree to your terms. The more you press the issue, it will be difficult for them to see your point of view.

It’s the equal to taking small steps. You have to expect them to say no the first couple of times when you ask. You cannot tell them you are going on a meaningful date and do not return home 1 a.m. Allow them to gain trust in you and get comfortable with you before pushing them to their limits.

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Chapter 4:
Communication Skills Required for Children

Now, for parents reading this article, here are some tips on how to communicate better with your offspring:

  • Think of them as adults
  • You have to Listening attentively
  • You should Empathize with the viewpoint of the person
  • One has to Create mutually beneficial relationships
  • Nonverbal communication is something that you should be aware of.
  • You have to Develop a long-term relationship with the adult
  • Explaining, summarizing, and disseminating useful data
  • Provide Clear and concise feedback

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Chapter 5:
Conclusion

Some parents think that they knows what is best for their youngsters because of their many years of experience. They desire to protect their children from unnoticed blunders and sufferings. They don’t want their offspring to fail, either. These parents also don’t want their kids to have to deal with any unnecessary disappointments in life. They want it to be better for their children than it was for them (the parents). Children, on the other hand, must do what makes them feel good as long as it is not harmful in order to be the happiest and attain their full potential. Trust is the basis of any healthy relationship. It’s crucial to show your children that you trust them. To maintain any relationship, you must have faith in the other person. One thing that can help you avoid being an overly protective parent, buddy, or lover is trust. Hence, parents and youngsters need to find a common-ground which works for both of them.
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  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

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