Perfect Relationships: Do They Exist?
Many times romantic movies have shown a picture of love that is so attractive that many people are sold on the idea to find one for themselves. This love involves a bond between two people who spend most of their time showering love on each other. It is an idea that shapes the expectations of many people towards relationships. In this article, we will discuss the idea of a perfect relationship, what role media play in building this, and find out if this is the same as healthy relationships.
The Idea of Perfect Relationships
Being cared for and caring for others is an important need for human beings. People form an idea of bonds through various sources like the relationship between their parents, media, and culture. Irrespective of how people form this idea of love, this has an impact on their future bonds. This idea shapes our idea of love for most of our lives. But what is the idea of a perfect relationship for most people? For most people it is a rosy idea of love that involves the partner pampering them, taking care of their needs, letting them speak their minds, and listening to them.
But a relationship is much more than having a good time with your partner
. It involves paying attention to your partner, hearing them out as you want for yourself, speaking your mind, and solving arguments.
Love like That in the Movies
Movies and other forms of media play an important role in the idea of perfect relationships. It has been noted that people who watch more romantic comedies are more likely to measure their bonds to that of the movies and have an idealized idea of how love should be.
They tend to believe that ‘love finds a way’ and can fight all odds to survive. They also believe in ‘love at first sight’ and think that once someone finds the ‘one’, their relationship will be perfect. These people describe themselves as ‘romantic’ and happen to have more successful relationships than others. They tend to love and care for their partner deeply and experience satisfaction. They also value are less likely to cheat on their
Thus, media has formed an idea of bonds for us that we tend to seek out ‘the one and only’ to be happy.
Why Searching for a Movie-like Love Creates Unhappiness?
Longing for a partner like Ryan Gosling in the ‘Notebook’? It turns out that having such expectations from your partner might negatively affect your bond. Such beliefs may have an impact on the length of the bond and the amount of satisfaction you get from it. Having unrealistic expectations can pull you back from enjoying the relationship you are in.
This can create a lot of problems in case of people in abusive relationships. This is because people who view love this way might make excuses for their partner’s behavior, which comes in the way of recognizing mistreatment and getting out of the relationship.
Why Do People Look For Perfect Relationships?
You must be curious to know why we seek perfection in relationships. And here are some reasons why-
These People Look For the Best Possible Option
Some human beings are always looking for a better option so that they can make a shift. For eg, These people might change jobs when they get better pay. They might also change partners when they find someone better than their last partner. Their criteria can be based on wealth, looks, intelligence, or some other feature they value.
While others are satisfied with what they have and tend to put in the effort to improve their present relationship rather than seeking someone else. They are aware that people are not perfect and that healthy bonds require work. This is because these people know that no relationship is perfect and they do not seek the ‘perfect’ person.
People who are looking for perfection in all areas of life do so in their relationships too. They might have many expectations from their partner and when they are unable to fulfill them, they become very upset. They take time to get comfortable with their partners and can be very critical of them as well.
A perfect relationship need not be just about being cared for and loved, it can be about the person wanting control over the relationship and their partner.
Low Self Esteem
People with low self-esteem need partners who take care of them and pay attention to them. People with low self-esteem turn to developing relationships that are near perfection as a way to feel good about themselves.
Signs of a Healthy Relationship
A healthy relationship is not perfect but both the partners involved feel loved and content. Here are some features of healthy relationships-
Both partners respect each other’s choices and know that their choices can be different from their partner’s but that does not stop them from caring for each other.
They trust each other with important things like parenting, money matters, and jobs.
They are open to communicating their feelings and needs with each other. They do not believe in giving silent treatments to each other and work towards resolving issues rather than doing nothing.
They both try to participate in making decisions that will affect both of them. And neither partner tries to bully the other into only listening to him or her.
If you feel your needs are met in the relationship, then it is a healthy relationship. But it is also important to understand your partner’s needs as well.
Call for Action
The perfect relationship does not exist and trying to create one can create problems for both partners. This article sheds light on the various causes for wanting a perfect relationship. Two important causes are low self-esteem and perfectionism. Please enroll in our courses ‘Low Self Esteem‘ and ‘Perfectionism‘ to know how to deal with them and improve your wellbeing.