Do you tend to feel that you have a lot of flaws? Are you worried that you will make a mistake or do something wrong? When it comes to love and relationships, do you have self doubt? Do you feel that you are not “good enough” and that no one can truly love you?
Chapter 1:What Is Self Doubt?
Self doubt is a feeling that you are not “great”. It makes you feel that you are not all that good and that you do not deserve good things.
- Self doubt can make you question your “value”. It can make you value yourself less. You feel worthless and your self-esteem is low.
- You feel you do not deserve good things in life as you are flawed. For example, “I am not so smart so how will I ever get a good job” or “I have such a harsh voice, I do not like how my voice sounds.”
- You question your judgment and decisions. Thought such as “Did I do wrong or did I do the right thing?”, “Did I make the right decision?”, “I know I am wrong, I will regret this!” keep on bothering you. You overthink and over-analyse everything you do and say.
- You do not like certain aspects of yourself. For example, you feel you do not look good no matter what you do.
- You live in constant fear of failure and ridicule. Also, you have very poor self-confidence.
- Additionally, you do not have a good mental image of yourself and tend to focus on bad or negative things about yourself.
Self doubt in love
If you are a person who tends to self doubt, then this would reflect when you fall in love too! Even in your relationships, your self doubt will create issues and problems for you. Be it a romantic one or any other kind, your fears will make things complex.
- You will fear that you are falling short or are not equal to your partner. Thus, you will always feel inferior to your partner. For example, you will not be able to express your opinion freely. So, if you do not like something your partner does, you will not say it because you feel you are no one to criticise them. They are better than you and you should be grateful for having a superior person love you.
- You will feel that you are not worthy of love. Your self doubt will make you wonder why your partner is with you. Your self doubt will make you not trust their love as you do not see yourself as a person who can be loved. This lack of trust in love itself and self doubt about your abilities and virtues will harm your relationships greatly.
- Hence, you will need constant reassurance and a show of love because you are extremely insecure. You would want your partner to always “show” that they love you. In return, you too will put your relationship and partner over everything else even yourself.
- When in love, your self doubt can cause you to question your partner’s loyalty and faithfulness.
- You might compare your love with other people’s relationships. You might not be happy and satisfied about your love.