Toxic Friendships Breakup - Why They Are So Tough!

Written by: Meenakshi Joshi– M. Sc (Psychology)

Last updated date : November 01, 2022

A friend is a person we can speak our hearts to. We all need and have friends that add value to our life. They are people you are “yourself” with. But sometimes things might not be this way. What if the friendship brings in more headaches than relief in your life. Such toxic friendships can harm you and it is best you breakup with your friend.

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Chapter 1:

What are toxic friendships?

When you share your life with someone, that person becomes a big part of you. Friends are the people we choose to share our life with. Every person with have their good and bad sides and will have their flaws. But if having a person in our life makes you miserable and makes your life very difficult, then that is not a good thing.

Some signs that you are in a toxic relationship with a friend are –

  • Toxic friendships are those that stop you from growing and it is best you breakup with such a friend.
  • Such relationships do not allow you any peace of mind.
  • They harm you and make your life difficult.
  • In such a toxic friendship, your friend might be “too dependent on you”.
  • They may be clingy or too demanding.
  • This relationship makes you weak and nervous.
  • No space or freedom.
  • You worry all the time about what your friend might think or do.
  • Also, you are almost scared of them and their reactions.
  • You feel that spend a lot of time taking care of your friend and that you have no other option. However, this time that you spend together is not fun or filled with happiness. Rather, it is mentally taxing and frustrating.

If you are feeling suffocated and chained in such friendships, then, yes, they are toxic and you need to breakup fast to maintain your mental health.


Chapter 2:

TWhy do you stay in an unhealthy friendship?

If such toxic friendships do more harm than good then why do we not breakup and move on. Why do we stay in such unhealthy friendships even when we know that we should not?

  1. You have chosen this person to be your friend and now how can you leave them? What will people say if you breakup with your friend? Won’t they judge you? These thoughts do not let you move out of such an unhealthy relationship. You feel that because you have willingly chosen your friend, you cannot just stop being their friend. It does not look good! You feel guilty about this.
  2. It has become a habit now and you cannot change it! So, you feel that you and this person have been friends for too long. And now you are okay or used to them and their behavior. Also, you might think that you can handle it and that you can take care of yourself and your friend. You know that such toxic friendships are harmful and it is better that you breakup but you just cannot make yourself do it! Maybe it is just the habit or the illusion that you are handling this!
  3. You do not know how to end things. Whenever you try, you cannot do it and end up feeling guilty for trying. Maybe it is our consciousness or your friend’s tricks that make you feel bad for even thinking about breaking up. You become over empathetic and start thinking about how you will feel if someone does the same to you. This stops you from taking that big step.
  4. You are emotionally dependent and attached to this relationship Although, you know this is unhealthy, you cannot breakup such toxic friendships because you are “too involved”.


Chapter 3:

Is there a right time to breakup in such toxic friendships?

There is no right time to breakup when you are in such toxic friendships. The sooner you do it, the better it is for your mental health. You need to breakup with your friend when you realize that the relationship is harming you and not letting you grow.

Many reasons and guilt will make it difficult for you to end the friendship but it is in your best interest that you do it and do it as fast as you can. Also, it is best, to be honest about it. There is no point beating around the bush or hiding from your friend. A clean-cut can be difficult but it is the best way to deal with such situations.

Also, there are times when you cannot breakup and end up ghosting your friend. Try to avoid this! Such behavior might make things worse for you and your friend. They might not get understand what is happening and it might cause them mental and emotional harm as well. Ghosting someone can seem to make things easy for you for it is not the right way to handle things. It is better to be upfront and honest about what you want and what your decisions are.

However, there are times when things are so bad that even after telling your friend that need to end things, they might not accept it. During such situations, you might have no other option but to avoid meeting them. But still, try not to do this as much as possible. 


Chapter 4:

A word of advice!

Breakup is not easy even if it is from such toxic friendships. So, be prepared mentally to stick to your decision. The person you are moving away from is after all your friend. So, of course, there will be lots of memories and emotional involvement that you need to overcome. Take you time to first accept that the friendship is not working and that you need to move on. Only with strong determination can you do such a difficult task. But remember you are doing this for your mental health and maybe this is what the other person needs as well.

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69 sections

6-Weeks Self-Paced

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

$9.00 $12.00

25% discount