What Do You Do When Your Parents Hate? My Parents Don't Love Me

Written by: Arooj Paulus – B. Sc (Psychology)

Last updated date : October 05, 2022

Table of Contents Article title – DBT for anger
  1. Chapter 1
  2. Chapter 2
  3. Chapter 3
  4. Chapter 4
  5. Chapter 5
  6. Chapter 6
  7. Chapter 7
  8. Chapter 8

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Table of Contents What Do You Do When Your Parents Hate? My Parents Don’t Love Me
  1. How to Handle Your Concern If You Think That Your Parents Hate You?
  2. Call to Action

Every relationship can have its ups and downs. However, a parent-child relationship is the closest of all. It is the earliest bond from which a child seeks love and support. But can parents hate you too? What do you do when your parents hate you? Let us look into answering your question that why don’t your parents love you.

As you grow older your parents are the guides who teach you the ways to adulthood. It is common for teenagers to have some space between themselves and their parents. As you grow older, there is a natural gap between parents and children in their teenage years. However, differences or conflicts can occur in a relationship. As you grow into a separate entity, you discover yourself and your ideas. There are possibilities that they may try to control you, try to restrict you from certain activities, set rules, or scold you for not getting good grades. This anger doesn’t mean anything more than a desire to help you become the person they want you to be. Yet, some parents show bias toward one child over another, neglect, and dislike not hate.

These activities may strain your relationships and leave you feeling hurt and unloved since they may create the idea that you and your needs are unimportant. You may start to feel that your parents don’t love you. Although your parents may not hate you, they may find it difficult to express their love or convey expectations in a careful and caring way.

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Chapter 1:
How to Handle Your Concern If You Think That Your Parents Hate You?

Here are some of the ways by which you can handle your concern if you think that your parents hate you.

Distinguish between Harmful Actions and Their Effects

Parents typically put rules as they don’t want you to suffer harm. In addition, they probably want you to have the ability to make wise decisions on your own. Your parents may generally intend to keep you safe from a bad decision and its consequences. Hence, they may be limiting you. There can be arguments and conflicts if you don’t listen to them. For instance, if you stay outside the home all night, they may take your car keys from you. While you may think that your parents hate you. But they are just concerned for you. These are not the signs of parents’ hate or abuse.

Note: Since family disagreement frequently results in stress, it can be hard to identify harsh and unjust parental actions. However, parental abuse does occur. You can learn about the abusive parent signs in our reference article, which is mentioned at the end of this article.

Assess Causal Factors

Love and support are common needs of humans. You need to be assured of your parent’s love when things are difficult. According to studies, consistent parental love can help lessen the negative impacts of conflicts. You can feel like your parents hate you if their love and support are limited which depends on your actions too. For instance, you need a last-minute trip to the store, yet they could shout at you after a difficult day or heave a huge sigh and walk off when they wanted to rest.

In addition, expressions of love are learned behavior. If a person did not have a loving and caring parent then there are chances that they will also be expressive in love when it comes to their children. Parent-child relationships can suffer from issues with mental health. You can further seek therapy to deal with the underlying cause of temper outbursts.

Note: Your parents are also humans. They also have feelings and different moods. Daily incidents and unpleasant events might impact your mood just as they can affect your parents. Don’t be too harsh on them by demanding love all the time.

Talk!

Even though your parents mean for this direction to be given with love, too many rules or harsh words can lead to frustration and hate. You could make an effort to justify why you find some restrictions or remarks regarding your hobbies so irritating. Effective communication is the key to resolving issues. Here are some tips to do and effective communication.

  • Make time for conversations. Such as asking them to make time for you and discuss your concerns. You can say, “I need to talk to you, are you free? or tell me when you will be”.
  • Use first person, “I-statements” in your sentences. This kind of talking avoids complaints while emphasizing your feelings and ideas. For instance, you can say, “I feel unimportant”.
  • Talk politely and listen to them as well. Naturally, you want to convey your views to them, but you should also pay attention to theirs. Patiently listen to their feelings and views too. It’s distressing when parents don’t appear to care about what you have to say, and it’s acceptable to get angry. Just keep in mind to communicate your feelings respectfully.
  • You can further keep notes of painful emotions which you may want to discuss with your parent such as when they gave preference to your sibling over you.

Pay Attention to Your Needs

Your parents might not be aware of the thoughts or needs you have, or they might not even be aware that you feel like they hate you. Recognize your needs and you can always ask for what you need. You can ask your parents if you feel low so want their support. Moreover here are some examples to ask for needs.

Note: Love is a basic need. It can create future conflicts if it’s not fulfilled. Simply ask for your parent’s love.

Explore Mutual Interests

As there can be a gap between a teenager and their parent. You may often think that they don’t have time to spend with you or your parents hate you. So you can find some mutual interests to spend quality time with each other. Spending some time together and having a talk can rule out all the misunderstandings and create a sense that your parents still love you. For instance, you can go fishing, try a new sport, join a cooking or art class, etc. You can plan the activities on weekends.

Chapter-2-12-Epsychonline

Chapter 2:
Call to Action

You can further read, “How to Deal With Emotionally Abusive Parents? – Abusive Parent Signs.” or “Cutting off Toxic Family. Is It Okay Cutting off Toxic Parents?” at Epsychonline. It will help you to know how to deal with parents’ hate and a toxic family. Prioritize your mental health. In addition, you can start a course, “Low Self-Esteem” as an emotionally unavailable or unloving parent can make you doubt yourself and lower your self-esteem. We hope to be a help to you. Join right away!
Reviews 4.1

Learn evidence-based DBT for Anger skills

69 Lessons

6 hours

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

€9.00 €12.00

25% discount