When dealing with people there are many issues. More so, dealing with your partner or loved one has its own ups and downs. There are many times in an argument they tend to blame us or put the mistake on us. At this time, we feel hurt and angry. But, if this keeps happening every time then it is called blame shifting. Blame shifting is emotionally tiring. It takes a toll on your emotions and mental health. It makes you feel that you are at fault for everything even if you are not. You love the person hence give into their demands and say sorry. This creates a constant cycle and seems to never end. There are many red flags in any relationship which if identified early can help. This article helps to know what is blame shifting, how it takes place, and also examples of blame-shifting.
What Is Blame Shifting
- It is a behavior that is emotionally abusive.
- In this, the person tends to put the onus of their emotions, thoughts, and behavior on the other person.
- It is an abusive way of dealing with people.
- The person tends to constantly blame the other person for their issues, actions, and even their own state of mind.
- It is a way of self-defense.
- This happens when the person does not want to accept the consequences of their actions and chooses to blame others for it.
- In blame-shifting, the person knows all your weaknesses and uses them against you.
- They will use harsh words to hurt you and then shift the blame on you. This also makes you say ‘sorry’ even if it is not your fault.
- They make you believe that you are the main reason for their bad behavior towards you.
Why Do People Do Blame-Shifting
- They do not want to take responsibility for their own actions and words.
- After hurting the other person with words they want to escape from the after-effects of it. For example, they say- ‘I don’t get angry but because of you I have to use abusive words.” This kind of statement makes us believe that it is really our fault.
- To control others.
- To show that they are more powerful than others. They do not want any others to be better than them.
- To always be right.
- To preserve their superiority.
- To meet their own unmet needs during childhood. Usually, they come from families where they were not given enough love, support and warmth. This makes them feel the need for these emotions. This in turn makes them seek in ways like blame-shifting.
Ways of Blame-Shifting With Examples
Disregard for Your Emotions
Playing the Victim Role
Creating Stories Filled With Emotions
Making You Feel Defensive
The Last Resort
To Sum Up
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