Why Did He Stop Talking To You? Why Do Men Pull Away?

Written by: Ankita Kathad – MA (Clinical Psychology)
Last updated date : March 08, 2023

Have you ever thought of why men withdraw suddenly? Or even worse, in some cases, they completely stop talking to you. This can happen in online friendships, dates or even in long term relationships. Why did he stop talking to you? Why do men go silent? In this article, we aim to understand why men desert others or why they tend to disappear. (mostly in romantic relationships). We also explore why they go silent in a relationship.

Online dating has made the culture of deserting easier. What does it mean to desert someone, walk away or ghost someone?

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Chapter 1:

What Does Deserting Mean?

It means that someone has gone away from your life without giving any reason or explanation at all. This often happens in relationships. There can be many reasons. A common one is when someone doesn’t want to commit.

When someone disappears suddenly, it leaves the other person confused. They think that they have done something wrong. It keeps them waiting and they feel worthless sometimes.

When someone leaves without any reason, it can also make the other person very sad. They may feel that their efforts were wasted. If men leaving has so many negative effects, why do they disappear then?

Chapter 2:

Avoiding Confrontation

He will stop talking to you if he has to confront you. Men hate confrontation. They fear that their partner will cry, get hurt and yell in some cases. Men do not want this kind of scene. They’d rather take the pain of walking on hot iron rods than confront their partner. Most likely they may have committed a mistake, hidden a thing of the past or even worse, cheated on their partners. In all these cases, they will have to confront but they hate facing the truth. An easier option for them is to run away. Therefore they prefer pulling away.

Chapter 3:

Avoiding Commitment

Commitment can be scary for some people. It involves a lot of responsibilities. Moreover, commitment requires a promise to self and the partner. People are usually afraid of making promises. This is because they are afraid and uncertain of the future. They feel that they will break the other person’s heart if they commit and don’t keep their promises. The other person can get hurt. Men don’t want to do this. They don’t want to make a hopeful person cry. Additionally, they don’t feel ready enough to take such responsibility.

In some cases, men only want to be in a casual relationship. Therefore, when they feel that the relationship is getting a little serious, they pull away so that the partner is not hurt or so that there is no confrontation. You may wonder that after days of spending time together, you’d want to take things seriously. That is when he disappears. You may think why did he stop talking to you? The reason is that he did not want anything serious, to begin with.

Chapter 4:

Different Expectations

When a man has some different expectations from his partner, he may pull away from a date that doesn’t meet those demands. For instance, he may feel that there is no chemistry between him and his partner. It takes courage to say it upfront to their partner. Well, an easy escape is to run away! Disappear in thin air. He may think that it is pointless to give a reason.

At times, men may have some pressure from family or society. This pressure may involve the demands of a certain type of partner. For example, parents may ask their son to bring home an educated and well-read partner. They may want a partner from a rich society. In this case, a man will pull away from a partner who does not meet these expectations Men will go silent and stop talking to the partner. They will do so because they may not want to hurt their partner.

Chapter 5:

Inability to Handle Emotions

Men have been conditioned from childhood to hide their emotions. In many societies, men are discouraged from openly sharing their emotions. As a result of which they have problems in handling and understanding emotions. There are exceptions of course.

So whenever a partner gets too emotional, men feel that the best escape is to run. Their ultimate defense is to become silent. Men prefer silence because they feel it will save their time and energy.

For instance, a partner may lose control and become angry. Men in this case prefer silence because they don’t want to deal with their partner’s tantrums.

Chapter 6:

You May Have Become Too Needy

When men feel that their partner has become too demanding, they become silent or disappear. You may wonder why did he stop talking to you? The reason could be that you had become clingy. Most men dislike clingy people. In some cases, they simply dislike too much closeness. In other cases, they feel unworthy of fulfilling their partner’s demands.

Why do men pull away when you become needy? Expectations are a part of any relationship of course. As a partner, if you had some needs, you weren’t wrong. Don’t feel guilty. However, some men just can’t take that kind of pressure. They are simply not ready for those demands yet.

Chapter 7:

He Does Not Want to Get Hurt

Men may stop talking to you when they feel that they will get hurt. When their partners are too hard to please, men will fear failure. Men will take a hint if their partners are cheating on them. Rather than confrontation. they will stop talking to their partners.

Chapter 8:

Why Did He Stop Talking To You in a Committed Relationship? Why Do Men Go Silent Even in a Serious Relationship?

Men can pull away and disappear on casual dates or online meetups. This is not uncommon. However, you may think, why did he stop talking to you when you were in a serious relationship. Well, even in a committed relationship, men can stop talking and go silent. There are many reasons for the halt. Let us discuss them
Men may get exhausted from constant fights. They are maybe emotionally tired. He may stop talking to you because he does not have the energy to deal with any kind of demands or fights.
He Loves Someone Else
Men will stop giving their current partners attention if they love someone else. They are pursuing someone else. It sounds a little sad but the truth is often harsh. Some men don’t want to cheat but they are polygamous. This means that they want to pursue multiple partners at a time. They may treat one with silence because of societal pressures of monogamy.
He Is Going Through Stress
Men are not mostly expressive as discussed above. When under stress, men will not willingly outpour or share their problems. They will prefer to be silent and save their energy. They will pull away if they are facing a lot of burdens.

Listed above are only some of the many reasons why men stop talking and go silent. There can be several other reasons like lack of space by the partner, a mental disorder that affects expressions or a trauma. Men carry the immense capacity to love and care. A man who is a victim of abuse can prefer silence over violence. Men can also have childhood trauma of abuse which is why they run away from romantic relationships when they grow up. They are scared of any commitment because of the trauma. All said and understood, the person who is deserted by a man goes through a lot of pain. It can be very awkward and stressful when your man stops talking to you. What can you do when your man goes silent and stops talking to you?


Chapter 9:

What to Do When Men Go Silent? How to Cope with If He Stops Talking To You?

  • If your man has stopped talking to you without an explanation. Try to get in touch and seek a reason. Don’t be too pushy. keep yourself busy. Consider yourself more important. Try to move on. Take self-help dates.
  • If you feel that you have been too needy or pushy, give your man some space. Take some time out in your relationship. For a healthy relationship, there has to be a reciprocal partnership.
  • If you feel that your man is having problems expressing, give him the space and time to be comfortable. Encourage him to open up and appreciate whenever he does that.
  • Take action if your man is hiding from confrontation. Set the vibe for a face-off. If he cant confront you, you can make the first move. It is a brave thing to confront.
  • If you feel that you had frequent fights and there is no chemistry, it is time to say, ‘next’. This will save your time and energy. You can do this by being upfront with your partner. Giving them an explanation for the same.
There are many other things you can do if your man has stopped talking to you. However, if you are struggling with the feelings of being deserted, do seek help from friends and experts. At Epsychonline, we offer articles and courses that deal with feelings of loss and struggle. Do check them out. For men, who fear commitment and confrontation, you can learn a lot from our articles about dating and relationships.

"Learnt a lot from this course" Sally

51 sections

6-Weeks Self-Paced

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

$9.00 $12.00

25% discount