As a kid, it was easier to make friends. But, as we grow up, your friends’ list may have changed. So, you might have fewer friends, but maybe you even find it difficult to make new ones. We tend to have the same question – Why do I have no friends? What happened? Why do I feel like I have no friends even though I do?

Many adults have this feeling. So, if you feel like you have no friends, what is it that you can do? This article tells the reasons for not having friendships, the benefits of having a social life, ways to make new ones, and how to keep them once you’ve established a friendship.

 

There are many reasons why you might not have many (or any) friends. Of course, these reasons are different for everyone. You might also ask yourself- Why do I feel like I have no friends even though I do. Here, let’s take a look at some of the common reasons why you might not have any friends:

1. Feeling Shy

For many people, it is difficult to start a conversation with a stranger. Moreover, it is natural to avoid social situations and would prefer to stay home. This also results in not having many friends.

2. Social Anxiety

Social anxiety means intense fear of social situations. This also means that it does not let you do things that might make you happy, like making friends or meeting new people.

3. You Move around a Lot.

It can be difficult to make and keep friends if you move a lot. When you feel comfortable with a new friend group, you might find yourself losing interest and needing to start all over again.

4. You’re a Loner.

Some people like being alone. Also, it is okay if you feel this way. Introverts feel comfortable spending time alone but also feel they should have more friends.

5. Your Interests Don’t Match Up with Your Coworkers or Neighbors.

Your interest areas are very different from others. For example, you like to visit coffee shops rather than having beer. This leads to not having the interest to make new friends.

6. Lack of Opportunities

You do not know places to look out for friends. It could also be because you are busy or your routine is such that you don’t know where to else to look.

7. You’re Trying Too Hard.

You are forcing yourself to make friends. This can also backfire on you. As a result, people might see you as needy or dependent. Hence, making friends is difficult.

8. You’re Not Prioritizing Friendships.

There could be friends or people that you know but it is important to be in touch with them. Hence, if you don’t put effort to keep in touch then they eventually also stop contacting you as well.

9. For You Friendships Are Only Surface-Level. 

You might know a lot of people. But, you do not like any getting too close to you. Hence, even if you have pals it is difficult to sustain friendships.

10. You Are Too ‘Busy’ in Life.

Maybe you don’t have time for friends. It could also be because you have a busy work life or family commitments which makes it harder to make friendships or even spend time with them.

Below are some other benefits of having friends.

• Increased happiness.
• Friendships help you grow.
• Support system in times of need.
• Reduced distress.

There are many you make new friendships if you feel you do not have friends. Below is a list of tips you can use-

• Make an effort to meet new people. Initially, you might feel scared but later it will be easy.
• It is possible that every person you talk to might not want to be your friend. That’s OK!
• Look for people who may have similar interests.
• Turn acquaintances into friendships by spending more time with them.
• Volunteer your time at places that interest you.
• Take efforts to work on your shyness or social anxiety.
• Be open and honest with people about who you are.
• Be friendly at places.
• Appreciate people.
• Ask for their contact information. Also, this can help you be in touch.
• Don’t show that you are desperate to make new friends.
• Try to interact with the “silent” or introverted types.

If you continuously think about why do I have no friends. Then, here are some ideas :

• Enrol yourself on a club or a group that interests you.
• Take a class.
• Meet people at work.
• Join a social media group.
• Get out more and meet new people.

After meeting new people, you’re most likely wondering how you can keep these friendships. Here are some ways to keep your friendships strong:

• Make time for your friends. Although, meeting people every once in a while is good, to maintain friendship you will have to meet more often. You can also plan meetings throughout the month.
• Try to be a better friend.  You must try to be a good friend. That also means supporting them through their difficult times, listening when they talk, etc.
• Be in touch. Even if your friend stays far away you can still be in touch. You can message them on social media or also do video calls.

We all need just one or two good friends who can stay with us. This is also because it is good for our mental health. Also, staying connected with people helps you grow. Whatever the reasons are, you can try to make friendships if you feel you do not have enough or if you have enough and still feel alone then you need to introspect what makes you feel this way. If not having friendships is making you depressed or you feel lonely then you can also consider talking to a therapist.