Why do I need to be perfect? Tips to Manage

Written by: Tanvi Vinay Gangavali – MA (Psychology)
Last updated date : September 29, 2022
Table of Contents Article title – Perfectionism
  1. Chapter 1
  2. Chapter 2
  3. Chapter 3
  4. Chapter 4
  5. Chapter 5
  6. Chapter 6
  7. Chapter 7
  8. Chapter 8

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Why do I need to be perfect? You might have this question on your mind. Well, it is needed but it is not the only thing that you need to strive for. It helps you to succeed. But, to be perfect at all times is not possible. If you set this thought in your mind that you have to be perfect at all times then it is hard. You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. It is okay to not be perfect. In the end, your peace and happiness are important while doing a task. This article gives tips to manage perfectionism and also keep a balance.

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Chapter 1:

Tips to Manage Perfectionism

  • Being perfect comes in when you find yourself spending more time on a task or a project. This naturally makes you focus on details that no one else will look at. This is time-consuming. It also causes stress to you. Hence, you need to look at the bigger picture. You need to stop looking for smaller errors, etc. You can also ask yourself ‘Why do I need to be perfect?”.
  • In the need to be perfect, we often become rigid. We set our own fixed ways and expectations. You need to change your mindset. Also, realigning your standards helps. It also lessens the burden on you.
  • Putting down your goals on paper is also helpful. You can make a checklist or draft of what you want to do about a task. Having a specific goal and working towards it helps. The need to be perfect usually stops us from reaching the end goal as we are busy putting efforts to make certain smaller tasks or details perfect. This also makes us lose track of time.
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Chapter 2:

Long-Term Tips to Manage Perfectionism

People who are perfect usually stay in the past. They also spend more time thinking about ideas of how certain things can be. These people also do not forgive themselves easily if they make any mistake or even cannot meet their expectations. This also creates anxiety in them. They also feel stressed out. There are many ways to help you if you find yourself to be high on perfectionism. Here are some ways to help you:

  1. Identify your triggers. You need to know what triggers you. This is also the first step to changing something. You need to think or write it down on paper what triggers you to be perfect. Do not judge yourself. Just identify and be aware of your patterns.
  2. Change your old patterns. If you have certain old patterns of how you feel or your thoughts then it can bother you. You have to try to move out of it. You can change your old pattern by replacing it with a new one. For example, if you notice that you keep talking about an event over and over again or only focus on events in your life that are not good then this is your tendency.
  3. Use Distraction. Whenever you feel like the thoughts and emotions related to being perfect are coming you can try to distract yourself. You can make a list of activities to do such as going for a walk, listening to music, or even cooking. This not only helps to distract yourself but also breaks the cycle. This also reduces stress. With practice, you learn to observe your thoughts. Also, you can distract from them.
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Chapter 3:

Some More Tips if you think- Why do I need to be Perfect?

  • Think about your successes. Many times although we think – why do I need to be perfect? We end up being perfectionists. Also, we are so in the details, etc we tend to miss out on deadlines. Moreover, we are scared that we might not be successful in a particular task. But, there are times when we achieve our goal. We need to spend time actively reminding ourselves that we have succeeded. You can think about this success whenever you feel you cannot do it. This also helps you to feel positive and motivated.
  • Look for a person whom you trust. Perfectionism is very common. Also, many people think- why do I need to be perfect? Hence, we need to talk to people whom we trust about this. This helps to connect with others. Also, we can take their help to shift our patterns and habits. You need a person who knows your issues. They can help you to stay on track and also remind you to focus on the positives.
  • Reflect on times when you achieved success. Every week or if possible every day keep time aside to reflect on the progress you have made or are making. Success does not mean achieving a big goal. It can also be the small steps or goals you have achieved. You can think- if you avoided any task because you thought you would fail or even if you took a lot of time on a particular task. You can also think about the times when you tried to change your pattern or identify what makes you feel perfect.
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Chapter 4:

Do I Really Need to be Perfect?

The need to be perfect is an interesting idea. It keeps you motivated. It also gives you a strong desire to achieve success. But, in reality, being perfect is not possible. This goal in itself is stressful. It also makes you feel drained out. You feel like a loser if you are not perfect. This leads to feeling like a failure. You also feel disappointed. Hence, a balance is needed. You need to draw your line when you feel you are trying to be too perfect. There are many tips given above to manage perfectionism. With regular practice, you can ease the burden. In the end, what you feel about yourself is more important. You want to feel valued and successful.

After reading this article, you might have many more questions to ask about being perfect. Hence, we have many online courses on our epsych website. There is also one course on Perfectionism. This course helps you know more about this concept and also clears your doubts. You should enroll in this course to build a stronger personality.

Reviews 4.1

Learn evidence-based scientific ways to overcoming perfectionism.

87 Lessons

6 hours

  • Educational Content
  • Quizzes
  • Self-reflection material
  • Suggestions & feedback
  • Worksheet, tips & tools to use

€9.00 €12.00

25% discount