Why Do Parents Compare Their Child to Others?

Written by: Harmandeep Kaur Grewal – MA (Psychology)

Last updated date : March 25, 2023

When you compare your child to another then you are making him nervous. Moreover, your child will be stressed out all the time. And it could lead to a low level of performance. And you will keep pressurizing him. It could become a disaster. You see, the pressure should be optimum. If it is raised then it could harm the well-being of your child. You cannot expect him to do well when he is stressed. Moreover, think like a human being, you need to show some kindness. And stop the constant comparison. And find the reason for making comparisons. Why do parents compare their children to others? Why comparing children is bad?

Additionally, people make the connection of their child’s performance to that of other children. This helps them understand their child’s work properly. But they forget about the uniqueness of every person. And all children are not the same. Though we are all similar but not the same. When you compare then you are disrespecting the child and his ability. It could lower his confidence and self-esteem. He will doubt himself. And seek others when he is confused and would not sure of himself. He would not want to meet others. Because he lacks confidence and self-worth. you need to encourage your child and not degrade him

In this article, we will discuss why parents are comparing children all the time. And the negative effects of constant comparing. Furthermore, we will discuss the ways to stop it.


Chapter 1:

Why Do Parents Compare Their Child?

First of all, there can be several reasons why parents make comparisons. They want to check the performance. And would be sure after they connect it to the class. It will help them know where the child stands in the overall class. But what should be important is that you see the strengths of your child and motivate him. this will help him to increase his self-confidence. And his self-worth will increase by your motivation. But stress will make him weak and nervous. He may or may not become strong with your pressure. You need to be realistic. Why do parents compare their children to others? You are observing other kids than showing interest in yours. You need to enhance his mental and physical well-being.

Also, you must understand that quality is more important than quantity. If you will encourage your child then he might come out to be a talent that you cannot see now. You should be patient with him. And tolerate some of his underperformance. It will give him hope. But your words, ‘You are good for nothing.’ ‘You stand nowhere in your class.’ ‘See, he performed better than you.’ ‘We wasted money on your school and tuition.’ ‘You are a black spot on our family.’

Furthermore, you should understand the things which your child is good at. For instance, he likes to play tennis. And would spend hours playing than studying. You can encourage him in the sport. But if you try to force him to drop his play. And study for 8-9 hours then it could make him stressed.

Chapter 2:

Adults Should Understand the Mind of Their Children

As a parent, you must understand and respond to your child. If you are not doing this then you will not be able to guide your child to the right path. You see, it helps young children to nurture their strength at an early age. But if they have no guidance or support, they will struggle for a long time. And would years on working. So, you must ascertain the things at which your baby is good. And then focus on those things. Why do parents compare their child to others? There could be a number of reasons. But comparing children is not a good thing.

Additionally, a lot of time is wasted comparing things. You see, children work best when they have less tension and stress. Because of stress they will underachieve and stress more. So, there should be given ample time to play and enjoy. And let them explore their environment and decide what they want. It will make them understand their duties as they will make conscious decisions in their lives.

Chapter 3:

Comparing Can Affect Children Negatively

First of all, if a child is compared it will create a lot of stress in the child. Why do parents compare their child to others? And he will never meet the expectation of a parent. Because the parent wants something and the child may desire something else. It will create conflict and dissonance in the student. You need to find the unique strengths present in the child. Moreover, blindly comparing will make your child lose confidence in himself. And he could fall into depression and see himself as a failure. Second of all, when your child loses confidence in himself then he would be scared of different situations. He will avoid difficult things. And would try to escape from them. To make him mentally strong, you need to enhance his confidence. And that could happen when he believes in himself. You need to show kindness and compassion towards the child. Comparing children is a bad thing.

Third of all, his real talent would stay hidden. And would not be able to develop his potential. Therefore, he must learn about his strengths early in life. This will help him to cultivate his talent and make a career out of it. But if he is pushed in the wrong direction then he will not be acheiving anything.

Fourth of all, he will grow away from you. And would not listen to you at all. And see you as an opponent. You need to get close to him and teach him things.

Chapter 4:

Helping Your Child

First of all, if you desire to do a certain thing then give him a chance. You can allow him to do what he wants. But set certain targets for him to achieve. So that he feels responsible. Because he has chosen the field and is responsible for it. Why do parents compare their children to others? Comparing children will cause problems

Second of all, you should not scold him when he underachieves. Instead, you need to guide him in the right direction. So that he develops the courage to face his fears. Otherwise, he will stay fearful of hard things. He needs to learn to overcome obstacles by himself and not depend upon himself.

Third of all, you cannot set unrealistic goals for him that he may not achieve. It could harm his confidence and faith in himself. Shower praise in him whenever possible.

Chapter 5:

Final Thought

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