Why You Bully Me? And Resulting Trauma
Written by: Harmandeep Kaur Grewal – MA (Psychology)
Last updated date : March 23, 2023
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You can be a strong person but any childhood experience can traumatize you for life. Moreover, bullying is bad for your mental health. How can you live normally after years of abuse? Also, people who bully do not understand the damage their acts do to the victim. For instance, you mocked your classmate for being fat. And he got verbally bullied for several years in school. You may not know but he is traumatized by you. He does not want to go to school. Like he is embarrassed about being fat and hates himself. You should know that he will suffer all his life because of your abuse. And victims often ask, why do you bully me? Moreover, can bullying result in trauma? And the answer is, yes, such an experience stays with you for life.
Additionally, your victim will suffer from long-time sadness and depression. Similarly, he will not be able to perform well at school and his grades will drop. You may laugh and joke at people who are weaker but you are not aware of their agony. So, you should apologize if you ever bullied someone in life. You may not be mindful of the pain you give to others and this is the reason for your actions. Why would a person cause lifetime trauma to another person for no reason at all? Therefore, change your behavior and feel sorry for your actions.
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Chapter 1:
Why Do You Bully?
Furthermore, when you are young then popularity matters. You make fun of people who do not look like you. Moreover, it can turn into verbal abuse. For instance, you make fun of girls who are fat or do not look good. You laughed at the face of a girl who has pimples on her face. Also, you ask her to wash her face daily. So, it can embarrass her in front of her classmates.
Next of all, if you have many friends then you try to spread rumors about people who you do not like. For instance, you hate a girl who looks better than you. Therefore, you spread gossip about her that she has many boyfriends. Accordingly, she gets shamed in front of many people due to lies and rumors. Your indirect aggression negatively affected the girl.
Additionally, people bully others because they want to revenge. You were insulted by a person and now you want to pay back to him. So, you spread messages related to your victim. Moreover, it can harm the person.
Chapter 2:
Effect of Bullying
Next of all, she will not do well at school. You may know that when bullying starts, she may lose interest in her studies and may fail exams. Moreover, she may not want to even come to school. Therefore, she needs help and therapy. Moreover, she could have problems with anxiety, depression, and sadness. Hence, such issues may worsen with repeated episodes of bullying.
Additionally, your victim may become emotionally unstable. She gets irritated, agitated, frustrated, and hostile towards others. And so may not be able to gain sympathy from others which she deserves and the bully will rejoice over it.Furthermore, your victim may not be able to form stable relationships with other people. More so they cannot trust people because of past experiences. Therefore, it could take decades to heal completely for the person.
Chapter 3:
Types of Bullying
Secondly, verbal abuse is highly prevalent in schools. Moreover, it is equally harmful to the victim. Your victims will hide from embarrassment and shame. For instance, you made fun of her being poor and wearing the same clothes all the time. Therefore, you made her feel bad about herself. If you have depression for a long-time period then consult a doctor. Also, therapy will help you relieve your pain from the past.
Thirdly, online bullying occurs highly today. You may have become a victim when you received threatening messages from others and felt scared. You need to report such issues to the authorities whenever possible. Moreover, therapy will help you increase your self-confidence in yourself and you can grow out of your trauma. But you need to believe that you can heal.
Chapter 4:
Dealing With Trauma
- First of all, you should accept the fact that you faced bullying in your past. If you are aware of your issues then you are in a better position to handle your problems. Moreover, denying will only take a longer period of your recovery. You can write about your experience in a diary and maintain it for years. So, you can visit a therapist and explain your issues properly.
- Secondly, you need to take care of your mental and physical well-being.
- Next thing is that you are a mentally strong person who has control over her mind and environment. You should not tolerate abuse anymore from anyone. You may have noticed that many times abuse comes from within the family. And, so the victim is unable to tell anyone about her problems.
- You should know that you are important to yourself, no matter what another person says about you. Your need to increase your self-worth and self-esteem then you can counter the actions of bullying people.
- Furthermore, you should not hide in shame. YOu can expose the culprits and they should be ashamed and not you. You are precious and remember that for life. No matter what others say about you but know your worth.
- Nextly, you should seek support. YOu can report the incident at school and go for counseling.
For more information on the current topic and others, please click “Courses” on the navigation bar to get access to our self-paced online courses on mental health and well-being. The course titled “Coping with Bullying (teens)” provides more information on Bullying and how to handle it.
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